Gooood Morning beautiful people!
Up and at ‘em again at 4:30 this morning. I just can not for the life of me get my sleeping patterns back to normal. It is killing me a little bit.
The past week, I have been keeping up with the increase in calories, yet it seems like everything is staying the same. I am still suffering from the mental fog, the fatigue, sleepless nights, anxiety, and the feeling that I am overwhelmed. It almost feels like things are worse. When things don’t change and I see the same things occur, I feel like I should just resort back to the disorder. I mean, I’m already feeling crappy, might as well just keep up with it by decreasing my calories again.
Breakfast- coconut banana oat bran, topped with peanut flour paste (1/4 cup oat bran, 2 tablespoons coconut flour, 1/2 cup egg whites, 1 banana, 1 teaspoon chia seeds, 1/4 teaspoon coconut extract)
But no, I must not resort back to the old ways of coping with my anxiety. I know I need to gain some weight, and hopefully with the additions I’ve made to my intake I will see some progress soon. I have to remember that my eating disorder did not happen in a day, nor a week, or month. So to get back to my normal brain functions, and body functions it will take longer than that. I am so impatient when it comes to recovery. I want things to happen right away.
I have felt overwhelmed lately with other things, basically anything that comes my way I feel overwhelmed with. This makes me just want to give up on getting myself healthy. No, no, no. Bad thinking. I need to place the main focus of my energy onto my health. I have nothing if my health is not taken care of. How do I expect to live a normal and fulfilling life if I keep stuck in this disease. Well, simply, I will not. I don’t know why I am so stubborn and won’t let go of the disorder.
There is still a lot of damage to repair in my body, when a body is damaged it will simply not function properly. Which is why I am still experiencing some of these awful symptoms. As much as they suck, it will suck way more if I keep myself stuck in this place for too long. I will get comfortable, and it will be harder in the future to make changes.
The body needs nourishment so it can fight the disorder, fight the fatigue, and get my body functioning normally again. I am tired of feeling and being sick and tired. It seems like I have been in recovery for so long, but still can’t get past the negative effects my body is feeling.
Hot Chocolate always makes the day better.
The problem lies in how I view food. Food is meant to fuel, sustain, heal, and give energy to the body. It is not meant to be feared. It is not meant to be manipulated and controlled, which is what I am doing. Here’s to making more positive changes this week. I definitely know how to stick within my comfort zone, and have a hard time expanding outside of it. The things that make life exciting and and worthwhile are outside of my comfort zone and I need to explore those options.
If you accept change, you allow circumstances to just happen to you. On the other hand, when you embracechange, you take charge and gain ownership of new opportunities. When you’re in the driver’s seat, your life is both more fulfilling and peaceful.
Recognize change for the positive effects it can have on your life. It’s the engine that propels you toward new and better things.
[Source: Jane Powell]
Have a lovely Tuesday!!
How do you go about making positive choices or changes into your life?
Does hot chocolate make you feel better on a hard day too? 
About Lisa
Oh honey
I’m sorry you’re feeling so crappy. Sending you a big hug! Have you talked to your doctor about how you’re feeling?
Hot choccie always makes me feel better
I go see my doctor tomorrow morning, so I’m actually looking forward to that appointment! Hopefully things are fine though!
you know, we all needed to hear this today because ultimately it’s about nourishment.. body, mind, and soul! you are right. get uncomfortable.
Yep. Been doing it today! Feels so weird, but I know it gets easier as I go on with this!
The way I go about making and keeping up positive changes in my lifestyle are forcing myself to recognize and appreciate the good things that come out of making those right decisions… you said you didn’t feel much different from increasing your intake because you still feel kind of sluggish and foggy, but what about your taste buds or your stomach when you eat something you really like or have a little bit more of that good food? I know when I eat a fear food I crave for example, there might be negative thoughts screaming about all the weight I will gain from it or that I don’t deserve it, but when I bite into it and taste it I realize, “Wow, that was awesome and so worth it!” There’s always some sort of guilt, but the guilt is more easily pushed aside when you allow yourself to recognize even the littlest of the good things.
I know that if you stick to this increased intake, you will feel better much sooner. I was like that too. In fact, I was eating a LOT more when I first started recovery after being used to eating very little and almost felt worse… I was constantly tired. But in about a week or two, my body readjusted and the food was being properly used as fuel I guess because I started feeling more energized and could concentrate so much better. So keep it up :]
Very great comment, you gave me a lot to think about. I think changing the way I feel or think about the food may help in how I feel about it. If I think a food is just going to make me “fat”, then clearly I won’t enjoy it and the negative feelings will come back. I’m really hoping in a week or two I’ll feel much better, but I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow just in case! Thanks for the positive words!!
Take it slow, one day at a time. You are doing great!
Thank you lady!
Its getting easier each day
Hot Chocolate is so helpful in so many different ways!
It took me 3 years to completely change my thought process about my ED. I kept telling myself that there are so many people in this world that have worse problems than I do and how lucky I am in my life and that I needed to treat my body right and be thankful. This helped me want to feed my body healthier foods even though I gained some weight.
I now work out daily and eat healthy and feel that muscles are much sexier than bones.
Yeah, I heard it can take a while to get that thought process back to normal. True about worse problems being out there, I hate that I can feel this way, when my situation could be much, much worse. I need to appreciate my body and what it does for me. I even think muscles are sexier than bones, its just odd when you can’t see the way you really look to others, such an odd thing.
Hi,
Healthy food always make me feel better.