Hi, all!!
Happy Friday!
Hope your day is starting off pleasant!
This morning, I woke up feeling good. I am proud of myself for making an effort in increasing my calories and reducing my exercise intensity this week. It’s not easy. I’ve had lots of hard and emotional days. And I know the first few weeks are going to be very hard on me, but today I was feeling rather bright and proud.
*This morning for breakfast, I made a creamy overnight buckwheat bowl. I am so glad I brought back buckwheat into rotation. This had buckwheat creamy cereal, that I ground up before hand, 1.5 tablespoons chia seeds, 1/4 cup egg whites, 1/4 cup pumpkin, 1/2 banana, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, stevia. Toppings included more cinnamon and peanut flour paste.*
Some days aren’t as great though. I wake up with lower energy and I can feel stress and negativity creeping into my thoughts.
As I go through my daily routine, I hear the voices creep into my mind and start to think I’m “fat”. I look in the mirror and see a person who was not there yesterday, a totally different human being has embodied my presence. My appearance is skewed. Whenever I pass a mirror, I can’t help but notice how much bigger I am today.
Wow. Wait, hold on a minute! Something isn’t right. It is impossible for me to have changed that much in a day.
“Feeling fat” is a common phrase among plenty of women. Fat is not a feeling. There are many emotions we may be experiencing when these days happen. Perhaps you are stressed at work, tired, angry, or upset. Which in turn can make you perceive things negatively, including your body. Fat is not something you are able to feel.
When this happens, it’s important to take a step back. These days aren’t about your looks or size. Realize that this uncomfortable feeling is coming from an underlying issue.
*Of course, no morning is complete without a Starbucks run. Caffeine fuelled mornings are the only way I can function or think properly.*
What is happening in your life right now? Are you happy? Sad? Angry? Try and find the root of the problem, deal with it, and move on. You are most likely taking out these thoughts into your appearance. Instead, focus and appreciate all that you have accomplished and that you are worthy of feeling good and celebrate your successes in life.
Its important to not wallow in self pity and get down on yourself more. Be positive. Be confident with yourself. You have the power in changing your thoughts. You’re in control to make changes in behaviours and beliefs. Your life is always beautiful if you look at it with a positive attitude.
*Before my busy afternoon, I heated up some leftover spaghetti squash and roasted broccoli slaw and covered it all in marinara sauce. Underneath, is a hidden leftover turkey burger. Yum.*
You only have one life, live it wisely. Enjoy everything about this day. Even when things aren’t so great, we learn from each experience we go through in this life journey.
Have you ever experienced “fat days”? What do you do to change your thoughts?
What are your plans for the weekend?
I’m off to a hair appointment. Have a marvellous Friday loves!!
About Lisa
great post! You’re really helping me gain perspective and really made me think when I say things like “I FEEL so fat” I never took the time to understand that fat isn’t a feeling! I definitely am going to be more aware of what other things are going on in my life when I have “fat days”
Have a great weekend!
I think when most of us get anxious or frustrated we just resort to that old “fat” feeling. Which isn’t actually what it is, so its great to realize that we are actually feeling an entirely different emotion. Awareness is the first step!
Not going to lie, I have been having those days this week. No idea why this week but it is killer for sure! I am glad you have such a great approach to it and I really appreciate your candidness. So helpful!
I hope your week is less stressful this week! And that you can find out where those feelings are coming from!
OH man yeah, I totally have those “fat” days – where I just feel so uncomfortable in my own skin! Usually for me there is a physical reason for it – maybe I’m bloated, maybe I haven’t gotten enough sleep, I drank/ate too much, didn’t get to work out – irrational, because none of those things lead to instant weight gain, but whatever the reason it gets to me mentally! I usually try to remember that “the world keeps turning and doesn’t give a crap what I look or feel like, so I might as well pretend I’m all good and go about my day” – and usually pretending to be confident makes me forget about feeling uncomfortable and then I actually can find my real confidence again!
Oh yes, I definitely still get those mental “fat” days. Where I feel extra bloated or something. And no one ever notices those things anyways. Its just us who notices these minute things.
Yes just going out there and embracing your confidence will make you feel more confident!
Such a great post! Your right fat is NOT a feeling, sometimes I think people take out their anger/frustrations in easier outlets (i.e. negative self talk, poor attitude) creating bigger issues later!
Yep, I totally agree with what you stated!
A lot of people definitely will take that instant emotions and focus it on something else and create bigger problems later.
I can absolutely relate to “fat” days… They’re never fun or easy, but you’re right – we have to continue to remind ourselves to stay positive, be confident, and recognize that we did NOT get “fat” overnight. And girl, you are FAR from fat!! You’re doing awesome! Keep it up!
Thanks Ashley! Its such an important reminder! As long as we are positive throughout those days we can get through them easier the next times
Right there with you girl <3 My main issue is just not having that exercise *high* that I love, it's not even me worrying about gaining weight and such. I just miss the feeling of endorphins, but seriously as the weeks go by, I feel SO much better. Each day is always better <3
Love you and so proud of you Lisa, all you can do is do your best and know things take time, patience, and dedication to get the final result! <3
Oh goodness yes! I definitely am missing the intense exercise endorphin rush that I am used to getting from my workouts.
I’m so happy to hear that as the weeks go by it is getting easier for you emotionally. I hope it will become easier as I go through the days!
xox
Love this! I am the queen of having “fat” days! Thank you for breaking this down to make me realize that it is not a feeling, it is a negative thought creeping in and all I have to do is change my way of thinking! Thank you for this, and I am so proud of you for realizing that this is happening and are actively trying to stop! You are so beautiful! Always remember that
Thanks Danielle! I hope this shed a little light onto the fat days and how its really something underlying that is going on.
Yup, fat is NOT a feeling! I feel big a lot because I’m still more used to my sick body than my healthy one. It does get easier though! Hold onto that proud feeling. Now THAT’S a real feeling!
Okay hold up…you ground up your creamy buckwheat?? Why, how? Tell me your secrets!
I also feel a lot bigger because I was so used to my sick body as well. Its sometimes super hard to get through the days when people are saying oh your bigger or looks healthier, but I know that is a positive thing!! My ED can not trick me into thinking otherwise!
Ohhh, so I use my coffee grinder and grind the buckwheat a little in the grinder first, so its smoother and makes the buckwheat even more creamy!! Its delicious:)
you are beautiful and far from fat, let’s make that clear
We all have fat days, every single one of us. i’m convinced. keep truckin’ girl.. you got this!
Thanks Eva
You have no idea how badly I needed to see this post today. Thank you so much for posting. Body dysmorphia has been a HUGE struggle in my recovery (as it is with most ED recoverers) and I’ve been really struggling with “feeling fat” lately. You’re absolutely right, it is not a feeling, but rather a way to mask what actual emotions I’m trying to avoid. Thanks again for the reminder, and stay strong
Its been a big part in my recovery too. Definitely a hard one to overcome!!
You stay strong too Sloane! We’ve got this!:)
I think everybody has “I feel fat” days…I’ve even been known to have them reduced to hours. As in, feel fabulous when I wake up but “i feel fat” by lunchtime.
I think you just have to remind yourself that feeling fat is related to your emotions, and you have to figure out what that emotion is so you can properly deal with it. Or, chalk it up to bloating and know it’ll go away soon.
Exactly, we just need to allow ourselves to feel that anxiety to get down to what the problem actually is.
How ironic… this morning I felt like that. I haven’t been eating very well lately, although still working out, but I’ve just felt “blah.” And this morning I thought, “Wow, I look fat.” I had to mentally check myself and say, “Stop it. You’re still strong, you’re still healthy, and you’re STILL AT A GOOD WEIGHT. You are NOT fat!”
Thanks for reminding me that it’s all in my head!!
Yes! We are not fat, there is some emotion hiding underneath that uncomfortable feeling. The more we avoid it the worst it becomes too. So its definitely unhealthy to avoid those uncomfortable feelings.
Bah, I know what you mean. I often catch myself thinking things like’ bleurgh,I feel fat’n gross today:(‘, normally after a big meal or something equally as silly. But then I’m like- hold.the.phone , fat is a molecule, how can I feel like a molecule? I must be crazy. And I believe its this craziness, that these absurd (fat) feelings stem from.
So yeah, I’m glad you were feeling good to day! And the next time you have a day where you are feeling like a molecule:p, you’ll have blog entries like this to look back on, to help yourself rationalise things, and see that you’re still a hawty:).
Buckwheat is pretty yummy- nice n nutty with a good protein count . I actually did your overnight oat method with quinoa the other day and adored it a lot! Are you not into quinoa? I feel like I would have seen it on the blog if you did like it for some reason, haha.
Xxx
Haha. So true, how can we feel like a molecule! That’s just silly and unreasonable!
You know what, its weird. I’m not a huge quinoa fan! I don’t really like the texture or the taste of it. Its about the only thing I can’t get down with!
Totally agree! Its all in your head, you can’t change in one day. Be confident in yourself.
Lisa you are hot stuff! Strut it!
Thanks Candice! You are too sweet!
You raise an awesome post here, Lisa. This is something I learned to overcome in therapy three years ago, when I overcame ED. My therapist said the same thing to me. Why do you FEEL fat? Ultimately, it was to cover up my own personal feelings of inadequacy in other areas of my life. I focused on my body to avoid visiting my insecurities and self doubt. I love your honesty, Lisa. Keep it up – you’re LIVING recovery and you’re GOING to beat this!!! xo
100% agree in what you said in your comment! Its my feelings of my own inadequacy in areas of my life that make me “feel fat”. Love you Heather!xo
I piggy-backed and linked you in my post about this. Thanks for an honest post. <3
i don’t know if you got a pingback but here is my post about this: http://sensualappeal.wordpress.com/2012/07/28/the-mental-nature-of-fat-days/
LOVED your post! Thanks for your honesty!xo
Another beautiful and well-written post. You are such an inspiration too not only me, but to so many others. You always seem to talk about the exact topics that I need to read. I too have been working on uping my calorie intake which you need, and you are exactly right.. some days are better than others. My motivation is coming from my husband for the most part. Knowing that we want to start a family is huge. I want to be healthy for not only myself, but for a future blessing from God. I know the road may take longer than what we expected, especially since I’ve been struggling with a non-existent period.. but I know we’ll get there.
Have a wonderful weekend girl <3
Awe thank you Jessie! That’s so kind of you to say.
I’m so happy to hear your husband has your full support and that you trust him so much in this process. That is huge to have someone there with you.
Hope you had a fabulous weekend!
So, I have a lot to say. Like A TON.
First, I have to apologize though
I hope you aren’t super mad at me about your HFF submission :’( You will be put into HFF #25 I promise. I am so sorry love. <3 <3 <3 Please find it in you to forgive me????? I love you so much and am truly so so proud of you.
Second, I think I can help you with the "fat" days. I have a lot to say and was wondering if you would like me to write a post on my blog as a follow up to this??? Love you babe
Oh my goodness, not at all!!! Don’t worry. I wasn’t sure if you’d get that e-mail on time!
I’ll just have to go on this week coming up:) Of course I’d never be mad at you!
Yes! I’d love if you wrote a post on your blog to follow up! You have lots of awesome wisdom!xox lovee you
Thank you so much, Lisa. This was exactly what I needed to read right now.
I’ve actually had quite a few “fat” days recently and I have no idea why. It’s really frustrating but I’m just trying to constantly remind myself that I’m healthy and my body is happy. For me, staying positive is crucial. I’ve also found that I’m much better off if I keep myself busy so I’ve been focusing on being really social over the past few weeks. I definitely think it’s helping- plus, I’m actually having a lot of fun!
Once again, I’m so proud of you for upping your calories and focusing on less intense exercise. Your body is probably SO happy. (:
Positive is such a key in keeping sane throughout these days. By remaining positive we can resolve the issues that underly underneath and can face them without feeling bad that we are feeling that way.
I definitely find myself keeping busy when these days happen to, its the best to thrive off other peoples positive energy when these days happen as well.
I’m glad you are getting out there and having fun
I hate those “fat” days. Sometimes you can’t help how you feel… but I try to take a step back and tell myself that one day can’t ruin all my hard work, and that you are FAR more critical of yourself than anyone else is. I read somewhere that you wouldn’t talk to a friend like you talk to yourself sometimes. Treat yourself like a friend.
I like that “treat yourself like a friend”, that’s a great way to look at things!!
Hey girl! I’m so proud of you for cutting back exercise! It is the first step. The “fat” days will come, but just hang in there! Just remember what you are doing is to improve your body and your health. As estrogen starts to rise in your body, you will fill much more “full” and make you feel “fat”, but it is natural and it will balance out!
Yep, I just have to remember that I’m doing this for my health and that by sticking by this process I will feel so much better!
Its definitely hard, especially it being the first few weeks, but I’m hoping it gets better as time goes on!
Honestly, I think everyone has those days! It’s important to realize that there is no way to change so quickly, especially over night. It’s so helpful to stay positive and look on the bright side of things! Great post girl
Thank you Brittany. Its always best to remain positive in these situations, it helps to get over that funk quicker!
Preach it, girl! <3 I really love this, Lisa! We're all prone to "fat" moments and days, but as you point out, it's completely within OUR power to change the negative thoughts into positive ones. Occasionally I'll look in the mirror and think, "what happened?! I've ballooned out over night!" The difference now is that we're both able to recognize that these thoughts are irrational and downright silly. Who really cares what we weigh? Is that what's important in life? Heck to the no! When we're 80, will we look back and think, "gosh, I wish I'd stayed skinny and emaciated"? Umm, nope! We'll be thinking, "damn, I'm glad I lived in the moment, and seized every opportunity that I could."
You've come so far, Lisa! I'm so proud of you, sista! <3 xoxoxo
I’m so happy we are both able to step back and realize that different emotions are hidden underneath when these days happen!
They are so irrational and so silly!
I’m glad I can now get through the day without feeling I have to restrict when these days occur and just realize its a different emotion I’m feeling.
Love you Sara! So proud and inspired by you!xo
So can you make your own buckwheat cereal by grinding up buckwheat groats? Sorry I’ve just seen buckwheat cereal a lot of places but I’ve never purchased it and I see recipes all the time that include it. Do you just use 1/4 cup of ground buckwheat?
Yes! I actually measure out the 1/4 cup first and then I grind it up in a coffee grinder.
It just makes it a bit more smooth and creamier.
And then I cook it like how I’d normally cook oats or oat bran!
Hi Lisa!
Just stumbled across your blog from Peas and Crayons. I love everything that I have read so far, and this post just hit home with me in particular.
Being almost 9 months into my journey to health, and 40 pounds left to lose, I just experienced the “feeling fat” day last week.
About halfway into June, all of July and the first week or so of August I completely lost my way. Up until that point I had lost 50 pounds and was so proud of myself. After my kids got out of school for the summer, it seemed it was harder and harder to work out everyday, and actually having the energy to cook a meal seemed daunting. So I know I had gained a few of those pounds back.
I got back on track this past 2 weeks or so, but one day last week I didn’t even want to look at myself in the mirror. I had to try and convince myself that it was all emotional and not physical. I had done so well getting back on track the last two weeks, there was no way that I ballooned in a matter of days. But you are right – we have to talk those negative thoughts out of our heads and I was able to do that and keep going.
I realize this comment has become extremely long and I apologize. I love the blog and will be subscribing!