I feel like this week has just flown by! No complaints there. I guess going to Boston and not arriving home until Monday night (technically Tuesday morning) made the week pass by faster.
As promised my recaps from Boston will start today, I will be talking about my reflections from the entire conference today and than probably doing the daily recaps from there. I just felt I wanted this recap to be very honest and go from there!
* Before I get started, I need to talk about my breakfast this morning! I received a sample pack of Love Grown Foods granola at the Summit and made a pancake out of it using the sample package of apple walnut delight, an egg, a few tablespoons pumpkin, stevia, baking powder, and a handful of blueberries, cooked in coconut oil. Holy delicious. This was so awesome! Must eat this again. Now, I just need to find this granola in stores. I topped this with creamy almond butter, and it ended up being a super filling breakfast *
When I decided to purchase a ticket to the Healthy Living Summit, I was immediately excited. You don’t often get presented with the chance to go on a trip with a ton of other Healthy Living Bloggers to discuss you passion of blogging, social media, food, and fitness. So when the chance arrose I knew I wanted to take this opportunity and really connect with some of the people who I have become close with through this blog.
I knew that this trip to Boston would be a huge challenge for me. For one, I hate stepping outside of my confort zone, I don’t do it often and only create discomfort in my life is if I “have to”. I thought by the time the Summit rolled around I would magically be fixed and I wouldn’t be having such hesitations.
I was actually extremely excited, but I was very anxious about what was to come up. I knew that I would be eating different foods that I didn’t have control over preparing, that I would be socializing a lot, and that I would be uncomfortable with the idea of travelling by myself.
If you haven’t already read Tessa’s post on her recap, I urge you to do so. It was a great recap and I can relate to a lot of her thoughts that she explained! I was worried others would be judging me on factors like “I am too fat, ugly, etc.” These are all horrible things to be thinking, but in honesty I was concerned about what other people would think of me.
When I first walked down to the lobby to meet the others I was so nervous to finally be meeting some amazing people! I wanted to meet the bloggers who share the same passions in life. Who get equally excited about new workouts, recipes, and fun ingredients;) Its a very unique situation and I was immediately relieved when I walked out of the elevator and was greeted with hugs and excitement!
All of the concerns I had previously washed away and I felt like I really connected with all the people who I talked with. I finally had other people to discuss creative recipes with, workouts, blogging, and even getting into deep conversations about experiences with eating disorders and issues we’ve had surrounding this.
Blogging has really changed my life for the better. I get to write about my experiences with anorexia and dealing with recovery, while sharing a passion for health and fitness that others may find weird. While meeting and talking with all these fabulous people was super awesome, I experienced some not-so-awesome feelings.
I was quite surprised when I saw a few people who were very, very tiny. From what is presented in some blogs, it makes them come off as they are recovered and doing fine, or others who have not even said they have eating issues, but are still quite ill looking.
I’m not one to judge so who knows if they even realize they are in a place where others are aware of their sick like appearance. Its a hard thing to acknowledge and accept, because you don’t know if you are in a place to say something to them. It is their journey and not mine to get involved with.
I’m probably in the minority with stating I do not mind if people give their opinions about me, saying that I need to work on things, or to give me constructive criticism. The only way I can truly get better is if I allow people to give their criticisms and really take them into account and try and change to better myself as a person! I value what other people say about me.
I had plans to go into Boston and enjoy my time away from home and my routine, but sadly I did not. I ultimately got very stressed out, and ended up skimping on meals and snacks and not allowing myself to indulge in any new foods while I was away. Sadly, I let comparisons enter into my mind and felt I was “too big” compared to other people and that I didn’t deserve to indulge in treats.
In no way did I want to look like I did back in those horrible times, but I did allow the anxiety and negative thoughts to overcome and make choices based on what was safe for my eating disorder. I wanted to enjoy myself and the interactions with people at HLS, so I decided early on I wasn’t going to work out.
I am very happy with this decision to take those 4 days off from working out, as to develop more of a connection with people and the city. I didn’t want my mind to be consumed with what workout routine I’d be doing in the morning and I didn’t let it. We can’t undo all the progress in fitness we have made in 34days, so I didn’t find it a big deal to skip out on the workouts.
Attending Healthy Living Summit, I assumed the food would be amazing, so didn’t pack too much. I honestly thought they would have more nutritious options that focused on all types of dietary needs. Sadly, there weren’t too many options that I would have liked anyways. A lot of the things were heavily processed. While I have no problem in indulging in these things occasionally, I don’t think I would enjoy to eat this way for every meal. And that is just my opinion.
* Last picture I got at the Summit *
I do wish that I let go of my “clean eating obsession” and allowed myself to enjoy the delicious food Boston has. A lot of the people whom I went out with ate amazing meals, while I stuck with my “safe options”. Its something I clearly need to work on, and that is one of the realizations I have made once coming home.
The best part about this conference though was not the food or the workouts obviously, it was making true connections with the people I have communicated with on my blog for the past months. From this experience, I have truly met some of my greatest friends and could not ask for a better weekend with people I truly and deeply care about.
I connected with every person I met with and was so sad when it was time to leave. The relationships I have built with people are one of a kind and I feel that I am great friends with many people in this community. I felt everybody was genuine, kind, and just felt blessed that I was able to be experiencing this.
* Meg and I *
This weekend has changed my life and perspective for the better, I learned I want to, more than anything truly get over this disease and that I have made some of the greatest friends a girl could ever ask for. I only wish the conference lasted longer than the 3 days! I could have easily spent the next 3 weeks in the same room with these people and building even stronger friendships with them. I also have amazing and supportive people who are helping me through this hard and lengthy journey and really appreciate them throughout this difficult time!
Oh boy, this was a long post! I didn’t mean for it to be so lengthy so thank you if you actually read all of that! Don’t blame you if you didn’t though;)
Tomorrow I will actually recap the days and share more of the daily musings at the conference!
Have you ever been in surroundings that were hard for you to deal with?
Do you ever experience forms of disordered eating?
What was the best part of being at the Healthy Living Summit for you, if you attended?
Tell me something exciting about your weekend, if you didn’t attend!
I hope everyone has an amazing day!! I just want to thank everyone for reading and being part of this journey with me:) You all are truly amazing people!