This morning I had to be out the door early again, so made sure to have breakfast made and ready for this morning.
I made my favourite overnight oat bran, with a few changes. While eating this morning, I definitely noticed the slight crispness to the air. Its time to get out the blanket in the morning if I want to continue having cold items for breakfast!
* Overnight pumpkin oat bran with egg whites, almond milk, chia seeds, cinnamon, stevia, blueberries, and peanut frosting. *
“Should and Shouldn’t” are such small, but powerful words. We can get consumed with putting too much focus into what we “should and shouldn’t” be doing, rather than what we choose to do. This way can become consuming, especially when it comes to “health”.
We can allow ourselves to get stuck in the mindset of “don’t eat this, don’t eat that”. This way of thinking can become rigid and easier to follow than listening to our bodies cues and knowing what our bodies are craving in the moment. Instead of listening to our bodies wisdom, we begin to follow a rigid set of rules, the “should and shouldn’t rules.”
We can hold onto behaviours and beliefs that we have adopted from magazines, fitness trainers, the media, our parents, or friends. We may hold onto these beliefs out of fear, anxiety, personal or social pressures, and as a way to cope with emotions, problems, and self-image, etc.
The problem is when we try and overcome these “should and shouldn’t rules” and make a mistake or backtrack (which we inevitably will), we can then use it as an excuse to hold onto these old patterns and ways of thinking.
* Homemade coconut ice cream, super delicious! Recipe to come soon… *
Instead, we could (and I intend to) use these mistakes as motivation to keep trying. Unfortunately, it’s easier for to play it safe, which gives our minds a sense of relief and peace (in the moment).
It’s a lot harder to be proactive and overcome these thoughts and behaviours when we don’t know what the outcome will be. It is scary to give up the “control” we feel we have and instead pursue our goals.
Too many people view health as a rigid set of rules, what we “should and shouldn’t” eat. And this places negative connotations on certain lifestyle choices.
* Topped with the last of my fresh strawberries, sadness. *
“You should/shouldn’t eat x because…”
“You should/shouldn’t do this exercise because…”
These “should and shouldn’t rules” are often contradictory and can be used as a way to judge others. Instead of getting caught up on what type of exercise we should or shouldn’t be doing or , we can learn to recognize what we need to be happy and healthy and avoid getting consumed in what everyone else is doing.
We are all unique individuals, we all have different qualities that make us special and beautiful. Instead of allowing these “should and shouldn’t” beliefs to take over your life and thoughts. You can choose to take a blind leap of faith toward the anxiety and fear that will ultimately allow us to have a better quality of life.
[Source]
By believing that we “should or shouldn’t” do something, we keep our minds in a negative energy. Why not learn to believe in yourself and trust your body, to have a positive attitude, and to act on the changes you wish to happen in life, no matter how scary it feels.
Next time, be aware of the use of “should and shouldn’t” rules, and how it can effect yourself and others. It can feel easier to live by a set of other peoples rules, instead of trusting your inner voice. Learn to listen to yourself, and your body will choose the best option for you.
Do you ever fall victim to other’s beliefs on what you “shouldn’t” be eating or doing?
Where do you think these beliefs come from?
Hope everyone has a fantastic Thursday!
About Lisa
That coconut ice cream and the strawberries look amazing! Definitely easy to obsess over food and create rules etc. Once you start breaking them and realize it is ok to do then it gets easier. Rules are made to be broken!!!
Very true. I just need to reset my mind to a healthier one! It will be easier with practice.
It’s definitely easy to get caught up in this mind site especially when being a blogger! Your ice cream looks amazing, hun xoxo
LOVE YOU
Totally agree friend! Hope everything is going well with you!!
love you too!
Great post! I definitely have been struggling with the should and shouldn’t rules lately and it’s hard because these messages of “health” come from everywhere! I need to get better at not setting should and shouldn’t limits on myself and just listening to my body instead!
Yes, I agree completely! Especially since we blog about food/fitness, so it definitely comes up a lot! I just need to remember that other people are doing what works for them, not me.
I know I have tried to take out should and shouldn’t in my vocabulary because a lot of it was linked with those unhealthy thoughts. It is a daily practice that is def hard in this society
Yes, definitely! Its hard when a lot of us compare, but if I find myself comparing, I try and remove myself from the situation entirely.
Great post Lisa!
This is definitely a problem, especially in the healthy living blog world – it’s that damn comparison trap. We just have to remember that what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for you – just because they’re running x miles per day or eating y at every meal doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
This applies in a lot of areas in life, but I especially notice it here.
Exactly! I’ve noticed myself straying from certain blogs because I just can’t help but compare myself. I too notice it a lot in the blog world, I guess because fitness/food is such a main focus of our lives.
This reminds me of a quote from Carrie in Sex and the City – “Why are we shoulding all over ourselves?”
Always reminds me that we put too much pressure on ourselves!
Ha ha. Yes! Reminds me of Sex and the City too! I was wondering if anyone would catch that;)
This is a FANTASTIC post. I have gotten caught up in that (and still do) and it drives me crazy. The one that kills me the most is when people say we shouldn’t eat too much fruit because of the sugar. Maybe for fitness competitor that is an issue but I son’t think normal people should feel anxiety when reaching for an apple or a banana. I went through a period where I only ate berries first thing in the morning and then no more fruit for the rest of the day because of all the things I was reading. It didn’t take me long to realize that was insane. Now I eat as much fruit as I want, whenever I want. Okay I am done ranting
I want that ice cream!!
Thanks Christina!
I sometimes catch myself getting caught up with all the “paleo” things happening lately. However, I know my body doesn’t want tons of meat and I couldn’t live without my grains!
Exactly! Its totally not normal for anyone to be stressing over an apple, that is just plain silliness.
Ha ha. I relate to your rant, so no worries on going off on a tangent:)
The ice cream is fantastic!
Amen, sister! i have one “should” that I listen to: I SHOULD listen to my inner guide. BAM.
Haha! Love you, babe.
YES!
I totally say AMEN to this! NEgative energy is crappy–and can totally be avoided if we just let go of the ‘rules’ and ENJOY life. It was meant for joy–being here on earth–not making our own lives miserable!
Negative energy is the worst, I never want to get so wrapped up in those “rules” I set up for myself before. Not fun! It was basically a waste of 3 years of my life. Yep, life is meant for enjoyment!!
The Should/Shouldn’t trap is a very dangerous one- I spent a lot of time in high school navigating what I “should” and “shouldn’t” eat. Low calorie granola bars and sugar-free Jell-O were good, high-calorie peanut butter and fatty avocados were bad. Crazy, right?
There is a way to allow yourself to have treats (and not just “healthy” treats either) and still lose weight (in my case, not yours!) and be healthy overall.
That was like my college years. I set up specific rules for myself to follow and if I strayed from them I would live in internal misery, it was not a fun time in life but I have learned so much from that experience. I think we both struggled with those crazy things;)
I totally think we fall into that. Social media, magazines, trends, and seeing what others eat or don’t eat cause us to jump on these trends! It can be so hard!!
Oh for sure! There are so many resources out there that send out so many unhealthy messages, it breaks my heart. I don’t want to see anyone suffer through an ED like I had to!
What great timing on this post! It’s funny because I try to stay away from “should and shouldn’t” and listen to what I really need and/or want. Lately with diet and exercise though I have been questioning myself and falling into those “should and shouldn’t” thoughts and patterns. I think it’s because my roommates have recently adopted new fitness and diet regimens which we are often talking about and I am seeing their successes/failures. It starts to make me question whether or not what I am doing is the “best” or ” right thing to do”. I think it’s good to question routines or habits in a healthy way to challenge yourself or break out of a comfort zone but when it becomes unhealthy and obsessive it’s time to take a step back and evaluate why you are placing these restrictions on yourself and if they are ultimately going to help or hurt you. Great insightful post Lisa!
That’s great that you try and stay away from those “rules”. Its so important to listen to OUR bodies. I can relate to the friends talking about what they are doing, but you just need to remember health looks different on every person.
Its never okay to question what your body is asking for.
Thanks Karah!
Lisa! Great post my dear! I fall into this trap all the time, so thank you for your honesty and for sharing such an encouraging post with us. There are so many “ideas” out there, and suggestions on the best diet/exercise routine, but we have to remember how unique and individual we are. Not one way of living is going to work for everyone, and I am trying to remind myself of that everyday! Love you!
No problem Ashley! There are so many contradictory messages and ideas that are flat out silly. Exactly, we are all individuals and need different things for our bodies to function properly! xox
GREAT post, Lisa
I always fall into this mindset; I think a lot of it comes from society telling us to eat healthy and be skinny (obesity epidemic, etc.) even though a LOT of us don’t need to worry about that!
Thanks Courtney!I agree, so much comes from society, actresses/singers we look up to. Yes, way too many of us “follow guidelines” meant for the obese/overweight without realizing it really! I just talked about this with my nutritionist and it was really eyeopening.
I actually don’t think I fall victim to others shoulds & shouldn’ts. I’m not saying I don’t compare myself to others, believe me , I do. But I rarely act on these thoughts. The majority of any of my disordered behaviours, all stem from within myself, think. Which is a scary thought actually.
I hope you can come to terms with & be happy, with YOUrself as an individual, real soon. Cos from what see, Lisa’s pretty cool<3.
' Recipe to come'<- words I DO NOT like to see on this blog! I cannot wait, I'm impatient! Especially when the sneak preview of said recipe, looks oh so delicious:).( I used the last of my strawbs today too. Atop blended cottage cheese- yummers. I'm sad to see berries go though *sniff*).
I bought my 1st ever can of full fat coconut milk today, I'm so excited to put it to use, (maybe in this recipes if it uses it?). The coconut whipped cream recipes I keep seeing on blogs are enticing me.
Xxx
That’s great that you don’t act on the thoughts! I can definitely see how a lot of the behaviours are more internal, which is definitely scary! Awe thanks Sarah!
I am SOO sad to see strawberries go to! I only have one small basket left of them, and they may only survive today! Sadness!!
Brilliant post! I definitely have fallen into this mindset and sometimes I still do. Sometimes, I’ll hear “Don’t do this exercise; it’s bad” or “Don’t eat this post workout because it slows absorption.” I just need to remember what is essential for ME and what works for ME, not always following this ridiculous “broscience.”
I try and not read those things that are directing at “do this and don’t do that”, but sometimes I get a little absorbed in those things. I’m definitely just trying to remove myself completely from those readings/blogs. Exactly we need to do what is essential for US!
Exactly! So… instead of listening to your ED telling you you should eat the same foods over and over, maybe you could eat something different for a change so every blog post doesn’t look like you’re recycling the same photos because your eats are always so similar
Good practice. The more you eat outside of your comfort zone, the easier it gets.
Love this, Lisa! Amen! There was a time when every blog post I read made me second guess what I was eating or how I was working out. I had a to take a break from blogging so that I could figure this out these things for myself, rather than trying to figure them out by reading about another person’s life! This blog community is wonderful in SO SO many ways, however it also enables an unspoken comparison game to exist, which can make recovery really, really hard! I now feel very confident in my food choices, but there are still days when I second guess myself. I have to keep checking in to make sure my head is in the right place; if it’s not, I step back from blogging and take time to re-evaluate who I am, what I need and what I love.
This is my favorite line from this post: “We can learn to recognize what we need to be happy and healthy and avoid getting consumed in what everyone else is doing.”
LOVE YOU to pieces!! xoxoxoxo
Thanks Sara!! I think when I first started reading blogs/blogging myself I wanted to “fit in” so tried to adopt a certain style but realized that would NOT happen without me falling back into old patterns!
It can definitely make recovery very hard!
I’m so glad you have taken so many positive steps, you seem like you are in such a wonderful place:)
LOVE YOU!!!!