How’s your week been going so far?
It’s almost Friday, so that’s exciting news. I had quite a day yesterday, that I’ll go into more detail in another post. I honestly can’t believe Fall is right around the corner and that I’ll be 22 in less than two weeks now. Crazy how time flies.
I wanted to discuss a topic I’ve been entertaining over the past few days. It just took me a while to write, its a long one so hopefully you’re in the mood to read:)
Entering the blog world was a truly great feeling for me. I had so many things I wanted to write about, and so many more topics I want to cover. It felt like such a good thing for me, to connect with people who had the same interests in health and fitness, and to be able to share my journey with finding my true self and working at overcoming my eating disorder.
Last night I enjoyed a delicious dinner, I finally started incorporating more quinoa in my diet. After neglecting carbs for so long and not really enjoying quinoa before. I figured it deserved a second chance.
I made a bowl containing 1/4 cup quinoa (uncooked), marinara sauce, goat cheese, tempeh, roasted zucchini and spinach in 1/2 tablespoon coconut oil. Topped with more nutritional yeast and a side of avocado.
There are many positive things about blogging, but there are also those dreaded negatives that can come along with writing about your daily life, and your eating or exercise habits. Reading blogs can lead to negative feeling as well as positive ones. We need to be cautious when reading blogs.
The blog world can be seen as an extreme slice of reality, where the love of exercise and healthy eating can be taken too far. As a blogger, most people don’t see the real version of who we are as a total person outside of a blog. We can cover up hard times we are going through and make everything appear as “rainbows and butterflies”.
I’ve still been enjoying roasted kabocha squash as snacks, with coconut butter as always! Seriously the combo is the best. Do it.
That’s not the norm though. Most people struggle with cravings, feeling lazy, getting cranky, and feeling sad. We do have the power to channel these negative energies into positive ones, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, we just need to sit with these emotions and allow ourselves to feel sadness or to eat that chocolate bar! Most people don’t want to read, or even write about negative things going on in life, so they are often skipped over or left out.
Real life is different from blog life, and we need to be careful to not get too emerged in living through a blogging lens. In reality, most people don’t take photos of their meals or talk about workouts and food. They can skip workouts without feeling bad, splurge when they’d like, eat out with friends and don’t create concoctions with “super foods” that we all love 
Not that there is anything wrong with healthy living.
I’ve been enjoying this David’s Tea Pumpkin Chai flavour. Its not surprising since I’m a huge pumpkin fan. I’ve been making special lattes with it as well. I’ll share that one later!
Of course it is a great thing to be health conscious and want to live a healthy lifestyle. But, there is more to life then eating healthy foods and running however many miles each day. If you can’t realize there is life outside of living a healthy lifestyle then this is a red flag and honestly, something I struggle with daily.
“How come this person can maintain x weight without suffering like I am?”
“How come I can’t run x miles a day?”
Often times, we may find ourselves comparing our lifestyles to others. If we find we are becoming insecure, losing self-worth because of others habits, or feeling guilt because we feel we should live up to a certain lifestyle. In reality, we all get tired, we have bad body image days, we don’t have all the motivation that appears on the screen.
[Source]
Maybe we need to stop reading blogs that trigger these negative thoughts. Blogging and reading blogs can be positive and supportive, as long as they don’t consume so much that you are missing living your “real” life.
Everyone struggles with certain things in life, even if it doesn’t look that way on a blog. Just remember that others do suffer from these things, they just don’t talk about them. Don’t get so involved in blogs that it takes over your life and remember that every person has a story behind their computer.
What are your thoughts on being real on blogs?
Do you avoid blogs that talk about “real life”problems because you like to read more positive things?
Have a fantastic day beautiful people!
About Lisa
Great post, Lisa! I agree with what you are saying. I keep it pretty darn real on my blog, but there’s also a fine line with sharing TOO much with your readers. I have some stomach issues, since I always have, but I don’t think it’s necessary to post about my constipation daily, ya know?
hahah okay, seriously though. I think everyone compares themselves to others somehow. It’s easy to do, but everyone just has to remember that every single person is different! Also, I love blogging. But it honestly comes last in my mind. Family, friends, myself, and school is always first in my book. Then I can enjoy myself and blog 
Ha ha. I totally know what you mean with stomach issues and sharing. Which is why I haven’t gone into detail about mine.
Yes, I totally agree. Blogging is awesome, but it shouldn’t come before everything. Unless its your job I suppose;)
I love reading blogs that are “real”! One of the reasons I don’t focus too much on personal struggles on my blog is because I definitely feel afraid to share those things with the world, at the same time I realize that others are feeling the same things as I am and I could potentially help them if they know they are not alone! Great post! I definitely tend to play the comparison trap on certain blogs and I think you are right, perhaps giving up the ones that aren’t so helpful to us personally may be beneficial! On a totally aside note yay for you for incorporating quinoa in your dinner!!! I am so proud of you!!!!
I definitely know what you mean. I think we all fall victim to comparisons some of the time. I mean its almost impossible to avoid 100%. Thanks Danielle!!
Great post. I struggled with this about two years ago – it was a black or white topic for me. If you need any advice, let me know!
Thanks Chelsey! Appreciate the offer! I may need it sometime:)
I totally agree. I used to think that bloggers’ lives were perfect when that is definitely NOT true. I choose not to relay too many issues in my life on my blog but I will not sit there and say that everything is roses and unicorns! I do like to stay real though and I refuse to act ‘fake’ for my readers. Awesome post!
Yes definitely, I think most of us want to come out in a positive light, instead of talking about negative things, but obviously its not all roses for anyone! Thanks Brittany!
i don’t like reading blogs where the writer just complains all the time. however, i do think if a writer discuss real life problems then that does show people that they are in fact human! i like blogs that are mostly positive, but also blogs that i can relate to… so i guess like everything else in life, i like a nice balance.
Yes, I definitely agree!
You are 100% right about that! We all get in fights with loved ones, have a bad day, PMS, get lazy, etc.
And why am I hearing so much about David’s Tea lately? Is it really super amazing??
It is so awesome! Its probably the best tea I’ve ever tried! Just because they have SO many different flavours!
Ahhh this is awesome Lisa! You make so many good points here! Yes, there are so many things that we leave off our blogs that make us seem so much happier and perfect than we really are. For example, I’ve been moping around all week because a guy hasn’t called me… but I haven’t even mentioned that on my blog. I don’t think we necessarily have an obligation to mention all the things going on in our personal lives, but you’re right that we need to keep that in mind when reading blogs!
Thanks Chelsea! Awe, well that guy is lame if he doesn’t call you then:)
Yeah this is spot on. We are never going to share (nor is it possible to share) everything SO we self edit. Definitely need to find a balance. I enjoy reading about the down days too. I can see how it can get competitive and how people can hold themselves up to unrealistic standards of “healthy living”. The truth is healthy living involves moments of despair, being lazy from time to time, eating chocolate and having bad hair days!
Exactly, I think it would be far too odd for bloggers to share everything, its unrealistic. Plus we need to keep it a bit private for other people in our lives as well.
Totally agree!!
This post is spot on in all aspects girl. I believe ((and am guilty of from time to time)) getting wrapped up in other bloggers “lives” and how they can eat what they want and barely workout and not gain a lb. It’s taken a while for me to realize that no one is made the same. Everyone has differences, and that’s okay.
I believe it’s okay to express how you are feeling on your blog, as long as it’s not a day to day basis of nothing but complaints. I’m a very positive person, and find it heartbreaking to hear of someone living their days with nothing but sadness.
Yes, I definitely fall victim to comparing too, but then I realize I never will know what’s going on in their lives and its definitely not perfect.
And I agree on trying to keep it positive, it really is heartbreaking to hear people going through such hard times and have their lives filled with sadness.
You are so right about this. I know all people have problems in life, but most people don’t show it on their blogs. I think blogs have taught me to be more of a positive person all around, but they also make me feel worse about my bad days. This topic is very real and I appreciate the realness of your blog!
When I first started reading healthy living blogs, I became submerged in it. I made my life about eating clean and exercise so much my legs felt like they were going to fall off. I realized that doesn’t work for me at all. I have to do what feels right for me. I was living someone else’s life, not mine. I’m not the person who needs 2 hour sweat sessions to feel good about myself. However when I slack off from exercise, it’s nice to have blogs as motivation. I am the person who needs to workout regularly to feel good. You have to learn how to separate yourself from other bloggers. That is something I have figured out over the years.
Definitely! Thanks Chelsa!
I was the same when I first started reading, it was bad news. And then I realized I couldn’t keep up with it. And blogging is not meant to be an obsession.
AMEN girl! I couldn’t agree more with you. It’s a tough line to draw at times, but you have to know what’s best for you. If you find yourself feeling frustrated, discouraged, or bad about yourself after reading specific blogs, they’re probably not the best ones to be reading. I’ve had to delete several healthy living blogs off of my Reader the last several months because I realized they were doing more damage to me than good. xoxo
Totally. I’ve had to remove quite a few blogs from my reader, just because I felt so bad about the choices I was making for myself. Not good. Especially when you can see the damage they are doing to themselves as well.
Once again with a fabulous post, Lisa!
I personally enjoy blogs that show a negative side once in a while. Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, so I find it a tad annoying when bloggers ONLY talk about super happy positive upbeat stuff. It just doesn’t feel that real to me! Not that a super negative blog is any better, I guess I just like a balanced approach.
I have had to delete blogs off my reader because I felt like they were doing more harm for me than good…like girls eating much less than I do, but running x amount of miles everyday. Of course, that gets my brain going and thinking that I must be eating to much, which leads to restricting…it’s just a bad scene. I think we need to be careful with reading blogs and making sure we’re going to get something positive out of them.
Thank you Sam!
Yes, I like when blogs can be real as well as positive. Because things are not always sunshine-y. Its for sure a balance. Yep, I’ve had to remove quite a few blogs too, they were just doing me no favours by reading them and comparing my lifestyle.
YES YES YES I couldnt agree more with this and am slowly starting to delete those blogs that made those thoughts come into my head. I think it is all about stepping back and questioning – is this normal? i think blog life can be seen as almost glamorous or something that is not really realistic, it is all about finding those real blogs.
I used to have so many blogs in my reader, but they have definitely decreased while I’m trying to find my health.
Personally the only part of under/overharing on blogs that gets to me is the secrecy around what people are actually eating. Because I get so upset that a million ultra-skinny bloggers seem to be able to eat what they want, and I constantly struggle every day with my weight. It has taken a long time to read between the lines that very few truly ‘have it all’ with a social life, a great job, athletic prowess and a powerhouse skinny-ripped body seemingly capable of burning loads of calories. But it’s hard not to buy into that myth, and feel deeply dissatisfied with oneself nonetheless :/
xxx
I can definitely sense the secrecy around what people actually eat as well. I don’t know if its actually true, I guess I’ll never know. But I always wonder if people would lie about that. It seems silly to do that, but who knows!
Great post, Lisa. I think I am afraid of being real on my blog because I try to have a positive attitude on life all the time, so even though I COULD write about my real feelings on my blog, I’m afraid of losing my “super happy bubbly” facade. Hmm… :/
Thanks Courtney. I think we have to be mindful what to put on and off the blog. Don’t worry about losing a facade. If you feel a certain way writing about it is very soothing, and I guarantee your readers will have lots of advice and relate to you more when you get a little more “real”. It was very hard to be so truthful at first, but I don’t regret it one bit! If you don’t want to be public about problems, you can feel free to e-mail me whenever!
Great post! I recently had a moment like this where I felt awkward for posting how I ate. I know what it comes to the WIAW, I personally enjoy seeing what other people eat and getting ideas, but doing it yourself is def scary. I felt I could no longer share my meals because I was somewhat “attacked” by how I ate “clean” .. and although it was just 1 comment, sometimes those are what affect you most
I agree with the WIAW! I sometimes get those negative comments, and sometimes I realize the commenters are right in what they’re saying. Although some people can be outright ridiculous just bashing me. Yes, sometimes those comments can really affect you as well.
I definitely think that not enough people consider that blogs don’t portray an accurate picture of the blogger’s life. When I first started blogging, I’d look at all these girls who seemed to have perfect lives, and were thin and always eating healthy and exercising a lot every day, and I kept thinking to myself “How come I can’t live that way? How come I feel so crappy when I try to adhere to that kind of lifestyle?” It’s true that a lot of the most important issues tend to go unsaid on most blogs, but I do love the ones that share both the highs and the lows because that makes them a whole lot more relatable and realistic.
I definitely went through that period of thinking “its not fair they can do that and I can’t” but then I wonder how miserable they may actually feel. I know how that makes me, and its not pretty;)
Lisa, I swear you can read my mind haha! I was literally thinking about this exact topic yesterday. I started off reading one blog about six months ago because I was looking for some help transitioning to a vegan diet. I had never really read or cared about the healthy living blog world prior to that. Of course I ended up discovering a lot of other amazing blogs through that one and now have several I read on a daily basis (and would love to start my own eventually). I have taken away so many fabulous things from these blogs and the people behind them but you can’t help but start to make comparisons against your life and theirs (I think this is a downside of most social media like Facebook, Twitter, etc). At a certain point I began to wonder if the idea of others “healthy living” was actually contributing or taking away my own health. While I enjoy reading blogs I think the bottom line is to be cognizant that someone’s blog is not their entire reality. It’s just a matter of staying true to yourself…I think that’s what people like to read about anyway
Yes I agree with your comment 100%. I think when others shared their beliefs, I was so vulnerable that I started to use their ideas of healthy living as mine and therefore was not living my own healthy lifestyle. And I wasn’t being true to myself at the end of the day.
I think most people like to read about the “real” people too!
I agree so much with Karah’s comment above. I think HLB blogs–(if you can call them that–I think actually many of these HLB blogs are turning into pro-ana blogs)–can be a good way of supporting one another through the painful recovery process, the obsessions that we all go through with body image, exercise, food intake, etc.. But there comes a point when it becomes a big competition–like who works out the hardest, the most hours, and most intensity level and who consumes the least calories. In the end–it actually takes away from life. I think it’s important–at least for me–to actually start living and maybe step away from the blogs. I hope recovery is going well for you! Have a great rest of your week
I agree. I really think some blogs can take advantage of vulnerable people and make them believe some super unhealthy things. And its sad, but unfortunately blogs are public. I used to be all about that competition feeling. Thinking I could eat less than this person or exercise harder and more. That ended up being a horrible thing for me. And I really want to make sure to never preach that kind of message to any of my readers. Thanks Yaara you as well!
Lisa–thank you for this post!! It’s almost too coincidental that I read this today after having one of my ‘worst days’ ever yesterday. I’m sadly suffering too and am trying to break the cycle…but it’s never simple cold turkey, I think we can all agree to that. Yesterday I had it out- ate what I craved, didn’t exercise- but was so torn with myself- I was to rid myself of the guilt, but had no success. it’s so hard knowing you’re worth it but not finding the courage to believe it. That’s why I love your blog and (shout-out) Amanda’s blogs so much– because they break from the mold and are open, honest- wonderfully genuine. Thank you. You accomplish what a blog really should seek to do- encourage an support others- to give us hope and know that we are Not Alone!
Thanks so much Leah! What a wonderful comment to read today!!
I really appreciate this! And yes, we are never alone in this journey!!
I loved what you had to say in the beginning of this post especially. About WHY you wanted to start a blog, & what your aims for it were. Because i think you are suceeding, extremely well. Seriously, over the past months I’ve become smitten with Lisa Lately- the writing, messages you potray, honesty, pictures, recipes, you, EVERYTHING! You are a fantastic blogger, & I’m so thrilled you started this blog<3. I hope it is, & will remain, a positive thing for you .
Yay for quinoa! It can really depend on how it is prepared , if it's enjoyable i think. I love quinoa flakes ( substituting the oat bran) in your overnight oat bran. Or in quinoa mac' n cheeze- sauce made from almond milk, nooch & butternut puree- mmm, delish.
Xxx
Awe, thank you Sarah! You are too kind:)
Oh I love the idea of quinoa mac’n cheeze sauce!! Sounds amazing!
i admire you for being so open and honest about your struggles lisa. and i think you should only surround yourself with blogs that are going to support you and not lead you to second guess yourself or create destructive behaviors. if you ever need an ear, i’m here
Thanks so much Felicia! I know we can relate a lot with our anxiety issues. And I also started going to acupuncture per your suggestion, and its just been a marvelous change for me!
I totally agree with you girl! Sometimes, I have a hard time with deciding what is appropriate to share on the blog and what isn’t. I want to be real and honest, but still maintain some sort of privacy. I have had to stop reading several blogs because I didn’t feel like they were good for me to read anymore.
Definitely, I always want to remain private, but be as honest as possible. I’ve had to take a numerous amount of blogs out of my reader because I simply was being drawn into their unhealthy habits.
I definitely avoid blogs (and real people) I find to be unhealthy or toxic. It’s hard for me to get seriously triggered anymore, which is nice, but I’m super aware of potential triggers and get myself out of the situation asap so I don’t even have to deal with it. Good for you and the quinoa! The body needs a lot of carbs in recovery. It’s sort of like you’re a teenager again, growing and developing. I had to eat a ton of carbs in treatment and my body did nothing but get healthier. Your body will put that food to work.
That’s good that its hard for you to get triggered now. Very true that its almost like being a teenager again, and I need lots more nourishment to replenish everything and allow everything to heal back to normal! I do feel better already with the additions!
Amen! Love this, Lisa! You’re raising awareness about a topic that goes largely unspoken in the healthy living blog world, yet really needs to be discussed more. When we click through our google reader, we subconsciously paint a simple picture of another person’s life based solely on what we see and read. However, the complexity of that person’s life (good and bad) is impossible to understand through pictures and words alone. But that’s all we have. When I first started blogging, I fell into the ugly comparison trap, and didn’t even realize that it was negatively affecting me until months later. All of the “genius ideas” I was seeing were ones I wanted to emulate, and while some of them helped me make positive changes in my life, most actually had the opposite effect. I justified the changes I was making (more intense exercise; food swaps like spaghetti squash instead of real pasta; etc etc etc) in the name of health, but in reality, I was only doing them because the provided a sneaky way to burn or eat fewer calories. Gosh, it was hard to type that. Now when I read blogs, I remind myself that what I’m seeing is just a tiny slice of that person’s reality; that what another person does or eats has absolutely NO impact on my body. It was hard to “relearn” what works for ME instead of somebody else (I had to step back from blogging for awhile to do it) but now I finally feel really solid. Occasionally I’ll read something and realize it’s touched an insecurity, but I’m usually able to bounce back. You’ll get there too! It’s all about baby steps! I’m here anytime you want to chat. Seriously! If you ever want to do facetime or even talk on the phone, let me know. Love you!! <3 xoxoxo
Yes your comment is exactly what I was thinking. And what I also went through when I started reading blogs. I made myself care way too much about such silly things. Yep, I totally went through the same things to eat fewer calories. I’m happy you can accept what you used to do, and you clearly have grown so much from that person and that is amazing!!
I’ve needed to “relearn” what works for me too. And its still a process! Love you Sara! Thanks for all your support!
“The blog world can be seen as an extreme slice of reality, where the love of exercise and healthy eating can be taken too far. As a blogger, most people don’t see the real version of who we are as a total person outside of a blog. We can cover up hard times we are going through and make everything appear as “rainbows and butterflies”.” ….
This could not be more true! You put it in amazing words! People sometimes say to me “your life is so perfect.” HAHAHAHA. If they only knew how cranky I get… how moody i can be… how many times i do not put my 100% into a workout… how i can sometimes be a lousy friend and girlfriend… or how many pieces of chocolate I eat a day… they may not feel that way anymore!!
Ha ha, yah I get some of those comments too. Definitely NOT perfect in the slightest;)
Thanks Anne!
Thank you so much for writing this post Lisa! This theme has been on my mind quite a bit recently, and your thoughts are so eloquent and insightful.
Happy almost birthdayyyy!!!!
Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend, sweetheart! xoxo
Thanks Sloane!! You are too sweet! xox