Bonjour beauties! Today I wanted to discuss balance! It’s a tough thing to acquire especially when we are bombarded by certain things from the media, to friends, and family. However, its so important we live a balanced lifestyle.
Most of us who like to “eat clean” and sweat (mostly) everyday, fall into the perfectionist trap. This trap can be a positive thing, however there are moments when being a perfectionist can hinder us. In some ways, I am very content with how things are going until I see someone who does it better than me. Therefore, I am not the best which means I should give up since someone else is “better”.
* I know one thing that is pretty darn perfect and that’s starting everyday with a wonderful breakfast;) Oat bran, egg whites, hemp and chia seeds, banana, stevia, and cashew butter. *
I tend to not be satisfied easily, things can always be better, until I reach “perfection”. Which we all know is unattainable. How can someone be perfect, flawless in every area of their life. I’m certain we can agree that is impossible, so why do we still try and reach for this “perfect image”? While in the journey of bettering my life, or my looks; it has done the opposite effect and driven me to a point of mental and physical exhaustion.
* Keeping up with the roasted kabocha snacking is still going strong, there is just something magical and addicting about that squash! Plus, I can’t forget the coconut butter on the side.*
If we keep worrying about being “perfect” or the best at something, it can make us put off excuses into trying new things. We are so afraid of “failing” that we don’t even try. So why risk the fear of failure. The truth is, if you fail at something at least you are getting out there and trying. You are being that much more productive than the person sitting on their couch wishing they could try something but won’t try because they fear failure.
Life may be easier if we had things handed to us, but where is the reward in that? It wouldn’t feel as good if you didn’t earn things for yourself. What is the point in living life with a fear of the unknown. At least we could say we tried and failed, rather than failed to try.
* Most of my evening snacks these days are protein muffins, alongside coconut “frosting” and peanut flour paste. I can’t get enough of the endless options of microwaves muffins! *
In terms of recovery, perfectionism could be seen as a positive thing. If I want to be healthy, why don’t I want to fully recover? A lot of the time I am so tempted to step back into old patterns and eating rituals. Mostly because it would be easier to not deal with this. I wouldn’t have to fight as hard. Other times I feel jealous that other people can live “normal lives” pretending they’re healthy, when in reality are sick.
It feels easier and safe to live a life based on calculations. If I consume “x” amount of calories each day and do “x” amount of fitness every day, I can maintain this weight and therefore will be happy. When things go awry, (weight changes you know) this leads to feelings of anxiety or depression and therefore feeds into the perfectionist mind even more. If we tend to feel imperfect (or out of control) in one area, we try and make everything else appear “perfect” in things we can control.
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The key is identifying the thoughts and conquering them to live a truly balanced life. We need to be willing to change these negative thoughts. If there are set backs along the way that is fine, just because we struggle with things or need to ask for help does not mean we are failures. It’s exciting and fulfilling to live outside our comfort zones and make mistakes. It makes life worth living. When we do things outside our comfort zone and are out of our own control, that is how we experience life. It’s exciting, scary, and wonderful.
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By letting go of the need to control everything, we create balance. We can eat more without feeling guilt, exercise less one day and more the other. Life balances out, it is not a calculation. Wouldn’t it be excellent if we felt so at peace in our life because we don’t have to control every aspect. Change your thinking and in turn it will change your behaviours! If we let go of these negative perfection thoughts we can bring ourselves back to our state of happiness and calmness. And wouldn’t that feel more amazing then being in a constant state of anxiety. My answer is yes.
What does balance look like to you?
Do you struggle with perfectionism?
Have an awesome Thursday!
About Lisa
One word: LOVE. This post was awesome Lisa, love all the motivational quotes dispersed in there with the pics too
“Life balances out, it is not a calculation.” Amen. Thank goodness for that, too– can you imagine how boring life would be if we knew what was around every corner? Or if everyone did the same thing? I think finding your own unique balance helps you truly live life to the fullest
Have a wonderful day!
Thanks Alex!! Oh goodness yes! Life would be so boring if we had to live life by certain “rules”. And we all need to find our balance!
Great post Lisa! Perfectionism is one of my biggest struggles and I think if I could just let go of that idea of trying to be perfect, I would be able to breathe a little more and begin to find a balance in my life!
I think by letting go of that perfectionist trait we have makes things come by easier, or at least know how to cope properly with being a perfectionist. I think balance is hard to come by when we are around so many people telling us x is right and x is wrong, but we just need to follow our own truth!
Amazing post my friend. You are so wise <3 It's so true though. Perfectionism is definitely not attainable for everyone, it's impossible. Another great thing to think about is what exactly defines perfect? I feel like there really is no answer to that. So why would anyone try to reach something that isn't even a real thing? What may be perfect to one person, could be completely different for another. That's why I love "strive for progress, not perfection." That can be to any aspect of life. Hang in there, love! <3
Awe, thanks Brittany! Yes, that’s another great thought. How do you even define perfect? Its going to be a different answer from everyone!
I don’t struggle with perfectionism… sometimes I wish I were a little more a-type, but I’m not.. I’m all about balance… too much of anything is not a good thing! I am very relaxed but sometimes my relaxed behavior is TOO relaxed… like you said.. BALANCE!
Yes, I love how you have such a great perception on what balance really is! Your blog is one of my favourites because you seem to have that balance down very well, and live completely healthy! And I inspire to have that for me soon!
Great post!
I agree that the idea of calculations (and getting to that “perfect” ratio of calories eaten vs. calories burned) just feels safe. As much as I love the idea of eating within abandon and forgetting about it, it’s really hard to do sometimes! I do my best with it, but I definitely have my moments.
The perfectionist mindset tends to work it’s way into other areas of my life too…not only do I want to be the perfect eater (and have the “perfect” body – in my mind, anyways) I always want to be the perfect student, perfect girlfriend, perfect daughter…it’s too much for anyone to live up to!
Its definitely tough to abandon those rules we have set for ourselves, because it almost feels like a part of life, right? Yes, I’m the exact same way! I would like to be perfect in all areas of life, but its just not attainable!
I think everyone struggles with perfection to a degree! Some days I struggle more than other days! I actually struggle the most at work. My job is very demanding and kind of demands you to be perfect. It’s extremely stressful and causes me to be very anxious often. Don’t get me wrong i love my job at times but at other times not so much!
I’m the same at work, I definitely feel stressed out and always want to seem perfect which makes me SO stressed that I often get severe anxiety, which is really no good. I also let myself get too emotional at times. I guess its a learning process, eh?
I think striving for perfection is something I have always battled with, I was always a very conscientous person but it was a demise for me in my worst ed times. It is hard to realize that we just need to live and not worry about every single action we do. Easier said than done for sure.
Oh yes, perfectionism often showed its face lots in the ED days. I think as long as we practice often it will become a habit sooner!
Great topic! Balance is so hard to attain, but once you find it, you know! I try to just do the best that I can with eating and exercising, sometimes it’s not always ideal and I have a lot of slip ups, but I’m only human and I want to enjoy life
Exactly! I think enjoying life is so important. We don’t want to totally abandon social outings because of the food there. Imagine life with no wine. That would be no fun at all!;)
I have a pretty perfectionistic personality, but I’ve learned to ease up on myself quite a bit in the past couple years and it’s done wonders for my own sanity, my happiness, and my relationship with others. Like you said, balance is SO key!
I’m starting to learn that balancing is the best for my mind, its hard work but I know that easing up on my thoughts and what I can do will only help my anxiety!
No one can ever be perfect. Besides, perfection is like beauty…it’s in the eye of the beholder. What one thinks is beautiful or perfect another may see flaws. You are absolutely right! Balance is key. It is the thing you can see in the world everywhere you look…our bodies sustain a balance, the ecosystem maintains a balance, the universe has a balance. it’s not perfect but it keep things spinning.
Like you said, striving for balance should keep us motivated and moving along…comfort needs rezoning at times. Great post!
Very true Bre! I like what you said. Beauty is different for every person, there is no one way of being beautiful.
Well said, Lisa! I know just what you mean about perfectionism being a kind of double-edged sword. It serves us well in some situations but really bites us in the butt in others. For me, balance is striving for the highest and best version of myself but (learning to) being content if that ends up looking different than what I expected. Whether it’s academics, food and fitness, or social life, it helps to realize that there are always going to be people better than me, so I accept that and simply try to be the best that I myself can be. “Better every day” is my mantra!
I like what you have defined as balance! That sounds like the perfect ratio to me!
I’ve come to realise that noone is perfect, their is no such thing as the perfect body or diet.
But i agree 100% that balance is the key, something i havent quiet managed to get rid yet, most likely due to the conflicting messages in the media, one minute something is good for you and the next its not, plus celebrities are also being told their either too fat or too skin so really you just cant win.
So i think that balance is important but being realistic is also key, you can have treats, you can eat more one day- it wont kill you. (i have to remind myself of that alot)
I think your doing amazingly well in your recovery, you diet is amazing, really healthy- your meals always look so delicous.
I haven’t completely rid myself of my perfectionist mindset, but I know if I keep trying it will be sure to happen! Its definitely a can’t win in the media world. Too big, too small. There’s never just normal…healthy. Thank you Lucy!
Ah, Lisa. Love. Your. Blog.
Nuff said
Thanks so much Stephanie!!
I wouldn’t say I’m a perfectionist. I don’t necessarily strive to be perfect in any area, but I do catch myself always striving for the next step, the next best/better thing. so I guess I have problems with being satisfied with where I am, which I think is very similar!
I think most people struggle with that! We just need to find that proper balance and realize we are good enough as we are right now!
This is such a great post Lisa. I’ve struggled with perfectionism for pretty much as long as I can remember, and the desire to find comfort in control is actually what fuelled my ED from the very start. I think the biggest problem with striving to be perfect is that it makes us feel like nothing we ever do is good enough because it doesn’t meet the impossible standards that we’ve set for ourselves. It’s an slow process, and something I constantly have to work on, but I’m slowly learning to let go of my obsession with perfection and just accept that things are already perfect the way they are.
Thank you Amanda! I think the perfectionism thing always fuelled my ED as well! It was either do everything full force, or do nothing. Which is just silly, perfectionism is just not attainable in any area. Its something I’m also constantly working on, one day I will find the balance!
I love this!! I tend towards perfectionism, and it traps you. There is no joy or happiness in perfectionism!! I am trying to find my happy balance.
I’m in the same boat Brittany!
Good for you! I am still learning to drop expectations of what my life should look like in my own eyes. Happiness is loving where we are, and also being honest with ourselves when something has to change. You’re a wise young woman!
Totally agree! Happiness involves us loving where we are in this moment! I appreciate that compliment!:)
I found myself nodding along to this whole post, okay, I do that with like all your posts:).
‘Letting go of control’<- ooft, there's a thought. Sometimes I'm such a control freak! And I know that's not pleasant for others, having to get my own way all the time.
Iv been asked if I'm a perfectionist before. And I always say,' no, because nothing I eeever do is perfect'. I'm told that is what a perfectionist WOULD say…
Your muffin & frosting bowls always look so scrummy. Can I ask if you cook the muffins in a mug, or a bowl or something?
Xxx
Right! Letting go of that control seems so hard to do, but when we think about it it should be relatively easy. I definitely know some of my friends roll their eyes because I always want things certain ways ha ha. I can imagine I must be pretty annoying sometimes
I cook the muffin in a bowl!
Hi Lisa, lovely post. I definitely can relate to it and have suffered perfectionism. Like you say however we shouldn’t be as scared of failure. There are all different areas of life and it’ll never be perfect everywhere. Love the quotes
Thanks Laura!
Love that quote “life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful” – so true! I have definitely struggled with this all in the past. Perfect body, perfect weight etc are really all trivial and not key to happiness. Family, relationships, fun and just feeling healthy (not obsessive) get you so much further.
Its so true that all of this thinking is very trivial! And doesn’t make us beautiful on the inside. And I think that kind of beauty is the most important. Its also about the balance of all of those things!
Oh Lisa! This post is wonderful! Perfectionism RUINS recovery and can suck all the fun out of life! Its been a major struggle for me throughout my entire life, and ED aside is a huge stumbling bock to happiness for so many women. You’re so right that letting go of our need to control is the key to finding balance. Life happens, we can’t plan it, so we might as well live it! Thanks so much for your beautiful words!
xoxo
Thank you Sloane! I miss hearing from you! Yesss, this thinking is such a fun sucker!
Don’t you ever eat REAL food?
egg whites? peanut flour paste? microwave muffins? protein powder? etc etc etc
where’s the REAL food?
Doesn’t make sense…
Yes, I feel I do eat real food. There is actually no protein powder in this post. And I do enjoy egg whites and peanut flour. I don’t feel I need to explain myself on liking those foods, but I think that it’s fine to eat those in moderation. I also make sure to get in plenty of other nutrients throughout the day. I always eat lean proteins, complex carbs, and healthy fats. There’s plenty of real foods on this post…oat bran, bananas, squash, chia seeds, hemp seeds, cashew butter, but I could definitely use work on not being “super restrictive” as well in some of my choices. I just happen to like these foods!