Coffee was much needed again today.
Seriously, I think this was the only thing keeping me alive and productive, and by productive I mean not falling asleep during the day. I’m determined to be more proactive with things that I want to start happening in my life, I think I was creating too much anxiety over these thoughts. You know the usual over-thinking things I put myself up to.
{ This bowl for Dinner last night had spaghetti squash, broccoli slaw, homemade marinara, and chicken }
For the longest time, I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to pick the “perfect” job, where I’d make lots of money, and not necessarily be happy on. I’ve come to realize that money is not the most important thing, and that my happiness comes first. Feeling like I have to do something because of money is just adding unnecessary pressure to my life.
Right now, I’m still in a place of unknowing what I really want, but if I don’t get out there and try, than I’ll never know. We all have to start somewhere. Adding to my fears, I feel that I “have to” be successful for my family to be proud of me, to have friends, just to feel validated, but success does not equal money.
{ More toast for snacking on, this time with avocado mixed with a sprinkle of nutritional yeast }
I’m at a point in my life where I need to start making some changes, pushing myself out of my comfort zone so that I can become more confident and strong with my decisions to pick a career. Which, let’s face it can be very intimidating.
It feels like I’m in a bit of an identity crisis, I mean I love health, fitness, recovery, helping others, nutrition, wellness, makeup and I’d love to pursue those things further, but which do I start with? I’m tired of trying to label myself as “one thing”. It’s safe to say I’m in a bit of an identity crisis, not sure where my talents belong. Which category I should reach out to.
The point being, always searching for balance in myself or different directions grows a little tiring at some point. I also feel this way in terms of recovery. I’m not totally “recovered”, but I’m not completely disordered either. So what am I and do I really need to define where I am right now?
{ Clearly I’m wishing it was fall, as I made more pumpkin “fudge” this time with coconut butter. Love. }
In the end, it’s my life and I choose the direction in where I see fit, although I wish I could have some sort of magic genie who could decide it all for me. Often, I’ll ask my parents or friends to “just pick something they think I’d be good at and I’ll do that”, it sounds silly but I love to over-think life;)
Life if fluid, always moving forward and I need to be doing the same thing. My life will be changing in positive ways, although I can’t predict what they will look like I’ll enjoy the journey and stop worrying about those silly things.
{ Good thing looks have little to do with how tasty this Breakfast was: more buckwheat lovin’ with peanut flour }
Well, this ended up being a major rant that I didn’t intentionally start out planning. Clearly, my life and mind is a bit scatter brained right now, so excuse the wordy post while I attempt to find and accomplish my dreams.
Our actions are what sets things in motion in predicting the future, not our thoughts. I need to always remember this!
Have you ever suffered an “identity crisis”?
Can you relate at all?
What are your “ugly foods” that actually taste delicious?
Have a beautiful day!
About Lisa
I definitely felt like I had a mini “identity crisis” when trying to figure out everything with college… Where to go, what to major in, etc. Lot’s of big life choices coming at you all at once.
A lot of people say do what you love. I agree to a certain extent, but I also would say do something that you like and that you can succeed at. Some professions are very hit-and-miss with a few rising to big things, and the rest looking for other work.
What do you do during the day now? Is there a possibility that you could job shadow someone in some of the professions that you are thinking about? Or attend a local college and check out a few of their classes on a preview day? I think that would help wonders in making a decision.
Very true!
I’ve made plans to job shadow right now, since I just quit my job:) So hopefully that will be successful! Especially in making a decision!
I always hate the look of pork tenderloin haha or sometimes a salad is really ugly when it’s all mixed up, but tastes so gooooood!
I know what you mean when it comes to pushing yourself out of your comfort zone – so important!
Most food that tastes good looks ugly, it’s just a fact;)
gosh…i love avocado on toast
Ugh…the career identity crisis. I’ve been going through the same thing for years! Hell, i’m in grad school and I still say “I have no idea” when people ask me what I want to do with my life. Because I really don’t. I don’t know what I would be best at, where I would feel passionate about my job, and where I would put my degree to work (by the time I’m done, I will have spent 6 years in postsecondary. I am not putting that shit to waste).
It is frustrating, but really all we can do is a ‘trial and error’ thing. You have to put yourself out there and try new things (job shadowing or classes, like Madison suggested, or talking to people in the field) I love what you said about it being more about passion than about money – I’d rather make less doing a job I love than make a 6 figure salary hating every moment I’m working.
It’s definitely frustrating! Especially when your in school. Man, it feels like so much work to figure out what you want to do for work;)
It’s so tough, because there are just SO many options. You’re definitely right with trial and error and I’m looking into shadowing now, which I’m quite looking forward to!
This homemade dressing I make with greek yogurt and avocado never looks very pretty but it does taste good!
Love this Lisa! Identity crisis has been in my life for the past couple of years and it’s definitely tough because there are so many different avenues I am interested in and so many fears that come up for me! In the end I’ve found that doing what I love and what spoke to me the loudest has been the key for me! I’m sure you will find your path too!
I would never think to add broccoli slaw to spaghetti squash “pasta,” but I am loving the idea. Do you cook it first or do you just throw it in there raw?
I definitely feel you on the identity crisis! I am definitely struggling with what my next steps should be, career and education-wise. My poor mom has definitely had to listen to me ranting for hours about how I have no direction. You’re not alone! We just have to stick together and we will figure it out eventually
Oh, never worry about letting your thoughts out. Actually, I really appreciate your “rant” – though I wouldn’t even call it that way – as I’ve been feeling the same lately.
I’m about to graduate from university this year and worries about the future are a constant stressor for me. Not knowing what’s about to come next has always been anxiety-provoking for me. Regarding my current studies I’ll likely not make a lot of money, either, which adds in even more worries and thoughts of changing into another direction … so, yes, I guess you’d call it an identity crisis.
Maybe you could talk to somebody you trust like your mom (it’s always my mum I’m asking those things) if you’re right about them wanting you to be successful? That was one of my worries, too, but it turned out to be mostly myself building up this pressure. I’m sure your family and friends want you to be happy and support your dreams – wherever they might lead you.
I do believe in you finding the right way! Remember that it doesn’t always have to be a straightforward way
(okay, that’s a reminder for myself, too).
Um, yeah. I have NO idea what I want to do with my life. I want to do sooo many things that don’t even necessarily have to do with my major. I’m all over the place and it’s scary! BUT, I know things will work themselves out over time. I also used to want to pick the perfect job that only made a lot of money, but I’ve come to realize that I would be miserable everyday of my life if I didn’t do something I loved. To me, happiness is so much more important than money.
I like your wordy posts!! I think the key is, that you stay true to yourself and connected. If that is the case, you will find what you want to do. I had these crisis a lot, when I was too much focused on the outside, thinking about what others expect from me or what would be ‘appropriate’ for me. I studied social work and everyone was so pleased about it. but then I worked in the field for more than a year and I had a huge relapse in my ED so I stopped and now do a job that is not so challenging yet it makes me happy. People around me think my studies were a waste, but I don’t think so and in the end it is me who has to live my life. Take your time! Meditate. And maybe you can experiment by taking an internship, doing volunteering – just ideas. xxx Lucie
It’s always tough to try and ‘choose’ one sort of path for the entire future! I’d say follow your gut! I did, and it turned out pretty amazingly
I’ve definitely been through times when I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I followed the cheesy advice and followed my heart (my passions, etc) and it led me to a place I love and feel fortunate to be in! I’m sure the same will be for you. Like you said, just keep moving forward
i feel like I am still searching too. the best advice I can give is just keep trying different things. I know that maybe it won’t be that lifelong career but it is learning process no matter what it is
Absolutely! I think everyday is about finding myself more & more… I can absolutely relate!
When I make tofu dishes the tofu often doesn’t look pretty, but tastes delicious!!!
Most of my foods are ugly, but I think they are delicious! lol I had/am having a crisis like this now. I am passionate about several of the things you are, but my job doesn’t allow me to work with these. I know it is tough. We should chat!!
What did you major in college?
Boy, oh boy can I relate to this post! Since my disordered eating/surgery I have lost everything which “defined” me as a person. I lost all of my friends so my status of being there for everyone vanished. Runner, gone. Fitness lover, gone. Teacher, gone. “Down for anything”, gone. Ice cream lover, gone. Baker, gone. I pretty much threw everything out the window or was disabled from doing the things I love to do. Terrible. I know what you mean about defining how you are in your “recovery” stages, too, because you’re not your worst but you’re not your best.
Totally can relate. There has always been about five things in which I wanted to have a career in; figure it can be for various parts of life!
It’s ok not to know. It’s ok to be scared. Just dont stay stuck in the fear. Fear wants you to stay on the shore. Remember it’s like swimming across the lake when you can’t see the other side. Just keep moving and you will get there. Trust that things will work out, because they will. I know it sounds weird, but the universe will show you signs along the way and if you believe and trust and move forward you will start to notice them. You have already come so far. We believe in you!
Xo
It’s ok not to know. It’s ok to be scared. Just dont stay stuck in the fear. Fear wants you to stay on the shore. Remember it’s like swimming across the lake when you can’t see the other side. Just keep moving and you will get there. Trust that things will work out, because they will. I know it sounds weird, but the universe will show you signs along the way and if you believe and trust and move forward you will start to notice them. You have already come so far. We believe in you!
Xo
PS. I really love this post. You have articulated how you feel so well!!!
ALL of my food is UGLY but tastes AMAZING!!! I could care less what my food looks like, as long as it’s tasty – I am GAME TO EAT IT!!! Ha Ha! What else is ugly, is the way I eat food – LOL!!!!! Yeah, I ain’t sexy when I eat, but I am okay with that!
I am totally going through an Identity Crisis and know how you feel girl. Lisa Im sure you will do amazing at anything you pursue. You remind me a lot of my Noni (In a good way!) and she is all about the spirituality and positivity. I think if you were interested in anything like Channeling you would do a fantastic job. Have a great day Lisa!
Oh girl, I can TOTALLY relate! When I first graduated from college, I had NO idea what I wanted to do. I felt desperate to make money immediately, so I began pursuing a career in education, even though it wasn’t my passion. After working as a teaching assistant in a kindergarten class for a year (and applying to education masters programs), I realized that I wasn’t following my heart. Deep down I knew what I wanted to do, but I’d spent so much time thinking about what I *should* do (or what others thought I should do), rather than following my heart. I finally realized that if I was going to be true to myself, I needed to let go of my insecurities and go after it. I moved home for a year, and took the required prerequisite classes to get into the health promotion masters program I’m currently in. I still don’t know *exactly* what I want to do, but I know I’m in the right field, and I live each day trusting that things will fall into place. If I can do it, you can too. Your passion is going to take you far! TRUST that, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to explore what you love–what excites you; what makes you tick. You’ll find it. xoxoxo <3