Confession time. It’s not fun to admit, but finding balance and moderation in my lifestyle is still very hard for me to grasp. I’m not perfect, and it may come across like I’m no longer an extremist, but I still suffer from “black and white thinking”. There is an extreme lack of balance still happening in my life.
My belief seems to be that if I’m going to do something, it has to be done perfectly. The thought is that I need to label food and exercise to live a healthy lifestyle, which simply is untrue. Since there’s no middle ground, moderation is extremely hard for me to grasp. This usually leaves me unbalanced.
{ Buckwheat bowl with chopped strawberries }
For many years, my diet consisted of junk food. I can’t recall ever liking vegetables, and lived off white pasta, bread, and fries. After I became aware of my bad eating habits and body image, I vowed to change my eating habits. This lead to my extreme diet change.
It would’ve been easier to slowly reduce the amount of junk I ate, eating more wholesome foods, instead I completely replaced all junk food with “clean” food. That was that. No balance, no treats. Food from now on was labelled “bad” or “good”.
{ Eating the last of my favorite coconut milk ice cream straight from the container… }
Perfection isn’t labelling foods as “good” or “bad”
Enter, an obsession with food, exercise, and over-thinking. Very, very disordered, as I can obviously see now! Finding a balanced lifestyle is something I strive for still, yet completely miss finding balance. My mind seems to block out the gray area in between the black and white edges, this leads to me being a perfectionist.
Even though I love eating wholesome foods, there’s nothing wrong with me eating a cookie, having a glass of wine, or having a bowl of ice cream. Eating a brownie doesn’t mean I’m fat or unhealthy, it means I’m human, it means I enjoy life.
{ Same ol’ obsession. Cinnamon sprinkled roasted kabocha }
We all do our best to overcome our weak points. Luckily, we have the tools to overcome traits we’d like to change. Even though I’m a perfectionist, it’s extremely possible for me to live a balanced lifestyle! Moderation is attainable, there is no such thing as a perfect diet. Things in our life like to be balanced, we strive for balance, and we all have the power to achieve changes we wish to make.
Instead of striving for perfection, I want to be able to have my imperfections be my own version of perfection. Having dessert, drinking wine, and eating mostly healthy foods will be perfection in my eyes.
I’m perfectly okay with being perfectly imperfect.
Are you a perfectionist?
What is your idea of balance?
What makes you perfectly imperfect?
Sorry for my long winded post, sometimes I feel the need to vent:) Hope everyone is having a beautiful day!
About Lisa
Hey Beauty….this is so me!!! I can relate on everything you say. I think you are doing amazing and what you see will get you to your goal to live a balanced lifestyle. I have this black/white thing as well. I am working hard on moderation, but it is not easy after years of living in extremes. If you ever need to talk, wine, discuss, chat – always here.
You always say the kindest things Lucie. Thank you for that.
You have come a very long way and I think you’re doing amazing too!!
Love this post because I can totally relate. I am such a perfectionist and to be honest for me the work has been in accepting things as not being perfect. I used to view food in that black and white mentality and do feel like it has been a constant work in progress to shift my thinking but I have no doubt you will get there!
Exactly. I think that’s where a lot of my work needs to come from as well. It’s just impossible to live perfectly in everything. So silly I used to think that way!
This was me a few years ago…I was horribly unhealthy in high school (I lived off of bread, bagels, waffles and chicken fingers and fries) and then eventually, nothing but fruit, veggies, lean meats and the occasional (never more than one serving a day) of grains could enter my body. Really, replacing one extreme with another and it was not the way to do it.
It took me a long time, but I’ve gotten to the point where I think I have that balance, for the most part. I eat mainly ‘healthy’ foods, but I eat chocolate after dinner daily, wine when I want it, and order onion rings or sweet potato fries instead of the side salad when I want to.
It’s hard to find that balance – it took me years and I’m still a little uncomfortable sometimes. But that’s what it is – pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, otherwise you’ll remain stagnant.
It’ll be challenging, but you’ll get there! I am an email away if you ever need support.
Ah man, wish we lived closer we would have SO much to talk about! I feel like we relate in A LOT of ways! It wasn’t until after high school that I really made this huge transition in my health, but it was bad.
It’s definitely tough to find that balance, especially when you’re so used to certain things, but I’m definitely doing it! Hello daily chocolate, yes it’s been happening and I think the chocolate is having good effects on my mood;)
I love this post. I’m such a perfectionist. To a fault, actually. I tend to label things as black and white. There is no gray area and that’s not a good thing. I’m still working on that balance and I’m confident that I’ll get there one day, even if that day isn’t today.
We’ll both get there! It takes time and effort, but it’ll happen!
Very well said about being perfectly imperfect. I don’t even think perfect’s definition describes what perfect really is. Perfect is different to everyone. I’m pretty sure I think a glass of wine is the definition of perfect
hahah
Exactly! Perfection is such an individual definition, and no one can really come close to it. Haha, wine definitely = perfection in my books too:)
perfectionism can only lead to stress and weariness. But i get where you are coming from. The mind, it’s that control issue. Once we learn that we CAN control the mind, everything seems to slip into place a little better. WEll, easier said than done, yes?
Yes!! Always appreciate your brilliant insite Lindsay! The perfectionism trait totally leads to stress!
I’m not a perfectionist… sometimes I wish I were a little more type A but I will say I do a pretty good job of balance. While I enjoy my indulgences, I don’t typically keep them in the house because I have a hard time practicing moderation that way.
I definitely think you are a FANTASTIC role model for balance.
I think we all need to redefine the “perfect” diet. A perfect diet should be one that nourishes our bodies and our minds. Food is delicious- butter and sugar especially. They’re meant to be enjoyed!
Great post, as always
.
I think we all need to redefine it as well! Totally agree with you Carly!!
i think a perfect diet is person to person and based on what feels good for them. it takes a while to zone out those outside influences to find what works for you.
Totally agreed Alex!
I struggle with perfectionism big time, but thankfully it no longer seems to affect my diet and exercise habits. There was a time where I was completely obsessed with making sure I was eating a perfect diet, and the only results I got from all my efforts were bad ones – I became unhealthier and unhappier than I’ve ever been. I don’t know what changed, but I slowly came to realize that it’s just not worth it, and that easing up won’t make the world fall into chaos – quite the opposite actually. It’s not an easy mindset to change, and requires a lot of conscious effort, but I think that easing up on trying to be perfect is definitely one of the keys to being happy.
Yes, those are the only things I ever receive from trying to eat/exercise “perfectly”. So basically just negative things, which is no good at all!
I’m slowly making those changes, it’s been tough but for the most part I’ve been loving it. Aka…I’ve eaten dark chocolate everyday and no bad side effects yet;)
I love this post. I really appreciate how you always talk about issues you are struggling with, because I’m sure so many of us are struggling with the same ones. Plus, you voice it so beautifully.
Yay for embracing being perfectly imperfect!
Thank you Courtney!
i love the concept of perfection being imperfection and vice versa. my mind still tries to make me feel guilty when i have a goal it deems “bad” like drinking wine if i want to. my mind says, wow that is the goal of a lazy person. no, it is the goal of a girl struggling to be a NORMAL person. i too took a drastic turn from junk food white bread eater to veggies-nocarbs-nofats eater. learning gray area thinking takes a lot of practice and i think that’s what you and i do each day. we can get there! we can be imperfect!
Definitely. I’m right there with you Caitlin. It has gotten about a million times better, but it’s still a bit of a struggle, especially if I get trapped in negatie thoughts.
I think we were twins as kids. Sounds a lot like me.
We can do it together!
I think finding a balance is the hardest thing when disordered eating hits. You lose the sense of moderation and what is considered “normal” for your body. You find yourself focusing on the “healthiest” or “cleanest” choices for so long, you lose a sense of healthy versus disordered healthy. Is eating half a brownie healthy? A piece? The whole thing? Black bean brownie? It just all swirls and it’s hard to focus on what you REALLY want to eat. Sometimes taking a breathe and asking yourself, “is this what I want?” helps me.
I feel you there Lauren! When you’re trapped in the middle of disordered thoughts it can be really hard to change! And to even know what’s normal. That was probably the biggest struggle for me, because there are so many contradictions out there! It drives me a little nuts sometimes;)
What an amazing post. It is so important to remember that we don’t have to be perfect. Our imperfections are what make us human! This is so great
Thank you Kate!
This post really resonates with me because I’m pretty sure I’ve been a perfectionsit my entire life. When I was young I *had* to be perfect at school, perfect on the soccer field, perfect on the dance floor. If I didn’t live up to my self-imposed standards, I’d literally break down and cry. Later in life that perfectionism shifted to my eating…And we all know what that meant. Everything in my life was black and white, and while Ive truly found a better balance when it comes to eating, I still tend to operate this way in other facets of my life. The good news is that we CAN overcome this way of thinking…I’ve done it with food (although I definitely still have *those* days), which means you can too! And it means we can both find moderation in everything we do. <3
Love ya, girl!! I'm here any time you want to chat! xoxo
Aw, I had no idea you went through those things Sara! I can relate to a lot of it though. I often felt like I let people down when I wasn’t perfect, which isn’t true at all!
You have seriously made AMAZING progress and I am SO dang proud of you! You have been a huge inspiration to me in this journey, love you!!! We should probably e-mail:)
I’m such a perfectionist too! To a fault!!! This is something that I’ve dealt with my entire life. I wish I could just do everything in moderation, but for some reason my brain doesn’t work that way!
I feel like we need a chat because I totally am the same:)
We SO need to chat!!! I would love that!
I SO appreciate this post! I am a perfectionist at heart (with all things, not just food and fitness), so it is really difficult for me to be okay with imperfection. However, I am coming to realize that being “perfect” is simply not healthy. I really appreciate your open and honest posts because I always seem to relate to them.
Yes! So true! We may see perfection from others, but it’s not real because no one can truly be perfect, and you’re right it’s not healthy! Thanks Hannah!
“Perfect” title. Haha. I feel like I have to give my all to 100% of the things that I do, and when I don’t, I’m a bad person. I’m slowly moving away from the idea that I have to be perfect all the time, but it’s definitely a hard mindset to break. Great post!
Haha, love it.
Yep, I’ve dealt with those same feelings, they aren’t fun but with lots of effort we can break free from those thoughts!