At A Loss

This post is probably the saddest and hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, and it won’t be a usual Monday post. I’m at a loss for words in today’s post, as this weekend has been filled with a lot of heartache.

Over the weekend I got some devastating, shocking, incredibly sad news that a friend of mine had passed away.

me and shayna

It’s not fair when life takes a beautiful person away, at the age of 23. My friend was so incredibly beautiful inside and out. Her smile and energy was contagious and she made so many amazing memories in my life.

***

Dear Shayna,

These are the things I wish I got the chance to tell you before you left. I remember all the travelling we did when we were growing up, the rides to different swim meets through the years in Summer swimming, Winter swimming, and the moments in between. Growing up we had our hard times, growing apart at stages of our lives, but even so we were always able to pick right where we left off.

There were the times in high school when you were one of my only friends, and I forced you to return to swimming (even just for a brief time), and all the countless sleepovers we had where we could spend days together and never get sick of one another. We could literally spend a week together without much of a second thought.

You could always make me laugh so much when you were just being yourself and doing all the silly things we could come up with together. I remember when you drove home with my family after provincials and we decided you could move into my bedroom and perhaps no one would notice, we were so inseparable back then.

I remember all the times at swimming, like when our team broke the provincial record, and we would just come up with all sorts of silly dances just to entertain ourselves for the long days at meets.

I remember the first class I skipped in high school with you and I was so scared I’d get caught (which we both know I did), but we laughed about it anyways. Or in grade 10, when I forced you to walk to school with me so I wouldn’t be a loner.  You never complained, even though I’m sure I was super annoying. You always managed to make me have a smile on my face no matter the situation. You didn’t care what anyone thought, which I loved and admired about you.

shayna

I’ll forever remember all the little moments we shared together, and I couldn’t imagine growing up without you as a friend.

I  love you to pieces and will never forget your smile, laughter, beautiful light, and amazing energy; the presence that you had with every room you entered. I can only thank you for the memories I have gained by you being a part of my life. You were a part of many things that will forever be engrained in my heart.

Right now, I’m thinking about your family and sending them love and support. My heart is with them.

It still feels so unreal that you’re gone, and I can’t quite grasp the truth of this.  There are a lot of mixed emotions.  I’m sad I never got to say goodbye and that you were taken so suddenly, but I know you are at peace now.

Shayna, you will be greatly missed and always remembered by all who knew you. My memories of you will never fade. I love you forever and always. Rest In Peace.

***

Life is a battle.  It’s hard and at times unfair. Even so, I always believe in gratitude. Appreciating each day we have to live, and getting back up when we’ve fallen down. Everyday is a gift, a new beginning. Most times, I’m all for positivity and seeing the good in each day, but right now I just need to to be sad.

The power a smile has is an amazing thing, and Shayna, personified that.  You have to create your own happiness, but it’s okay to be sad sometimes too.

No questions today. Please just send some positive thoughts and prayers to my friend’s family during this time.

I’m not sure when I’ll be back posting, I guess when the words come back to me.

<3

{Originally posted July 8, 2013}

About Lisa

Comments

  1. I am so sorry Sweetheart. Your words to your friend are so beautiful and I know she received them, wherever she may be now. I am sending tons of love to you, many many hugs and good thoughts!! Take your time, a break is needed in such hard times.
    Thinking of you!!!
    xxx

  2. SO sorry for your loss. I’ll be thinking about you today!

  3. So sorry to hear about your loss. Your words for your friend are beautiful and I’m sure she is shining down on you. Thinking of you and sending loads of love and support! XO

  4. i’m so sorry friend. sending prayers and love your way. You need to mourn. We will be there to mourn a beautiful loss with you. Please email me if you need ANYTHING!

  5. I’m so sorry about your loss Lisa. I’ll be thinking of you and your friend’s family today. I’m here if you need anything! <3

  6. sending you lots of love and support, lisa. i’m so sorry for your loss. xo

  7. Oh my goodness Lisa, I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss. You and Shayna’s family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. My condolences go out to both you and Shayna’s family. I can’t begin to understand how you must be feeling, but just know my thoughts and prayers are sending peace, comfort and sympathy to you.

  9. I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. From how you described her, she must have been a wonderful person. My prayers are with you.

  10. This is a beautiful, beautiful post. I’m sure Shayna would have loved it. I’m thinking of you and of Shayna’s friends and family.

    xoxoxo

  11. I’m so sorry Lisa, I know how devestating this is. I’ll be thinking of you and her family today <3

  12. Lisa, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. I know life isn’t fair, but I still wonder why the good people have to be the first to go. She and her family will be in my thoughts today.
    All the best to everyone
    xoxo

  13. Oh Lisa I am so sorry for your loss! Tears are streaming down my face for you and I think it’s beautiful that you were able to get some words out for her. Try to continue to remember all those wonderful times you spent with her and celebrate all the happy memories. Stay strong honey!

  14. what a gorgeous post, you brought tears to my eyes with your kind and loving tribute. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll keep you and her family in my prayers.

  15. that letter was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. I know how hard it can be to lose someone close to you…i’m so sorry love! Sending thoughts and prayers right now.

  16. So Sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful post. Thinking and sends love to you and Shayna’s family and friends!

  17. Thinking of you Lisa and Shayna’s family and friends. What a terrible loss. She sounds like an amazing person and her impact on your life won’t be forgotten. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

  18. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your wonderful friend. I will be thinking about you today.

  19. Oh Lisa, I am so sorry for your loss. Life is such a whirlwind sometimes and things like this do not make it any easier!! I hope your heart heals soon and your friend will always be apart of you! Sending you love and prayers!

  20. I am lost for words too as I read this. You and her family are in my prayers and thoughts!

  21. Oh my goodness, this is so very sad. I am so sorry to hear this. I will be thinking of you! I hope that you can find some sense of peace and comfort at this difficult time.

  22. Lisa :-( My heart goes out to you and Shayna’s family <3

  23. This is devastating and sad. I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart, thoughts, and prayers are with you, your family, and her family. <3

  24. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Prayers go out to you and Shayna’s family and friends. (hugs)

  25. You are in my prayers along with her other loved ones. So sorry for your loss!

  26. So so sorry, Lisa. Sending positive thoughts and hugs your way.

  27. Lisa we are sooo sorry for your loss! Losing a close and dear friend is never easy. We are thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs!!!
    xoxo

  28. Oh Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about your devastating loss. You are right, life is hard, unfair, and hard to understand at times. But, always remember that God has an ultimate plan, and his plan is for good. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why things happen, but we must trust that He will use this for good, and that He has already used your friend’s life for good in your own life. My thoughts are with you.

  29. I am extremely sorry for your loss Lisa. sending prayers. I hope she is in a better place. Lots of love and hugs to you

  30. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend, Lisa. My thoughts and prayers are with you. It’s okay to be sad, especially when thinking about the good times. Hugs!!

  31. Lisa, I’m sorry to hear about this huge loss in your life and many others’. Shayna sounds like she truly was an amazing and special person from the beautiful words you found to describe her. Keeping you and her family in my thoughts and sending you a big hug!

  32. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. :-(

    I lost my dad in January and I know there is nothing that can be said to take the pain away, but please know you are in my thoughts. XOXO

  33. Jordyn says:

    Truly sorry to hear about your friend….. I know how it feels! Just know she will never leave, she will always be in your heart and by your side! She know you loved her before, you love her now, and will always love her and she does so in return! Wish you all the best and am very sorry for your loss…… but remember, she will always be with you!

  34. I am so, so very sorry, Lisa. It sounds like she was an amazing girl and you were lucky to have had her in your life- even for such a short time.
    I know that there’s nothing I can say to ease the heartache right now but know that I’m sending love and hugs your way. <3

  35. My thoughts are with you and the family & friends of Shayna. Xxo

  36. So sorry for your loss, Lisa! Although words make little difference during these times, I am sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers to you & Shayana’s family.

  37. I’m so sorry, Lisa. You’re in my thoughts and I’m sending lots of prayers your way. I hope you find a way to smile again soon :)

  38. this is so devastating! My thoughts are with you!

  39. Sending you lots of LOVE on this day! Stay strong beautiful and be thankful for all of the memories you had with your friend! Lots of prayers and thoughts today from me for her family and friends as well as yourself! xoxo

  40. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you!

  41. I’m so sorry to hear this, Lisa. :( Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things. Sending thoughts and prayers to her family and to YOU! <3 stay strong xoxo

  42. I hope you feel better! Loss is never easy to handle but you are a strong person and you will get through it. :)

  43. I’m so sorry to here this honey. But I am thinking of you, and your’e strong enough to get through this. Sending hugs your way :D

  44. I am so sorry. I cannot imagine what it must be like to lose a friend that close. I will be praying for you and her family. Hugs to you.

  45. I’m so sorry friend! I’m praying for you and for her family. I pray for God to surround you and give you peace. xoxo

  46. I just said a prayer for you and her family and friends. It is just wrong to lose someone that young, absolutely wrong. So sorry for your loss.

  47. Oh, Lisa, I am so sorry to hear this news. <3 My heart is breaking for all those who knew and loved Shayna; she sounds like a beautiful friend and woman – one who will be greatly missed. My thoughts go out to her friends and family, and I pray that your hearts will be comforted during this very sad time. <3 Sending you a huge hug! xoxo

  48. I’m so sorry for your loss Lisa. Shayna was a beautiful girl and it pains me that her life was taken so soon. I hope you are able to find comfort in your memories of her. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and her family during such a difficult time.

  49. so, SO sorry about your loss lisa. i have never had to suffer the loss of a close friend like this, especially someone so young, so i know i don’t know how you feel. but just know that we are all here for you and sending you – and shayna’s family – love!

  50. I’m so sorry for your loss, Lisa. That is so so tough. Sending love, hugs, and prayers <3

  51. Lisa, I am so so incredibly sorry. You and Shayna’s family are in my thoughts and prayers. This is a beautiful tribute to her.

  52. Oh, wow. I’m so sorry for your loss! Your letter to your dear friend is beautiful. Stay strong, girl. You are in my prayers! xo

  53. I am so sorry for your loss. I admire your ability to stay grateful and positive during such a difficult time. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and her family!

  54. I just saw this and I am so sorry for your loss and for the loss for your friend’s and family. So tragic, she looks like such a beautiful young spirited girl. Taken far too long. She was lucky to have you as a friend. Thoughts and prayers with you all xoxoxox

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