My alarm went off blaring and I woke up feeling exhausted. Understandable, since I got about 4 hours sleep the night before.
Instead of listening to my internal desire to sleep in, I gave into that voice saying I need to get up and workout.
I was going to throw in the towel and not do yoga, instead doing my usual intense workouts but decided to give yoga the old college try.
Honestly, I think my body would’ve been much happier getting an extra hour of sleep, but I gave in to my mind.
After realizing just how tired I am, I realized how very tired I am of having my mind control my bodies actions.
I talked about this last week, but after coming through a milestone with my health, I’ve allowed that voice to creep back in.
Truth is, I like being able to have control over certain aspects in my life. In a way, I still am “controlling” my health.
With my desire to be in control, it ultimately led me to give up this control to an eating disorder.
Instead of listening to my bodies craving, I let my mind and disorder make the decisions.
It’s funny, because I tried so hard to control my weight, food intake and exercise, I didn’t even realize I had no control left.
I lost all of it when my eating disorder came into my life. Instead of living by a clock, a scale, or what I believe to be safe, I want to live by my bodies clock.
Eat when I’m hungry and rest when I’m tired, it’s such a simple statement but hard to escape.
Let’s just say it’s not worth it to fall back into those old habits. There’s a reason I chose to recover from these past unhealthy obsessions.
I’ve gained so much freedom already, but I could always gain more freedom.
Life is not going to be a smooth journey, there will be scenarios thrown in, to challenge us, to make us stronger in life.
Even if I make a mistake, I will always learn from the experience. As I’ve done so far.
I know that the more I progress the more it will come.
Don’t lose sight.
With that, I think it’s safe to say I need a nap! Or coffee…probably just a coffee.