Fear Foods

Today is one of those days where I have lots of thoughts on my mind. I’m also feeling very positive about things, which is clearly a great feeling! I love starting my day on a positive note.

Recently, I have been thinking lots about my food fears and how to change how I feel about them and also how to overcome some of those fears.

I’ve been trying to rediscover my love for certain foods. During my eating disorder I avoided a lot of foods. I lived in fear of certain foods because of the ingredients, or the way they were processed, or from even reading certain articles that distorted my love for certain food items.

I have been living thinking that my fear foods are really just preferences. I have reasons why I don’t like these foods or why I can’t eat them. You know, my belief that I am lactose intolerant, or things of that nature. Yah, that’s not true. In all honesty, I feared these foods so much that I created these allergies/intolerances, instead of just admitting I was afraid of their calorie or fat content.

However, my eating disorder did change my tastes, it changed the way I ate and continue to eat.I no longer crave and want to eat food that I used to eat on a daily basis. The eating disorder has definitely altered my taste buds.

This makes it difficult when I’m deciding if I’m avoiding foods because I personally dislike them or because they are a fear food. It’s hard to determine what I actually like after I have made it clear in my head that I don’t like certain foods. I know I’d rather eat a huge bowl of roasted veggies then a tiny bowl of french fries for the same amount of calories. That’s just my preference.

Some foods I truly don’t have any desire in trying to eat again and don’t see the point in eating them, but is this a wrong decision in recovery? It is very confusing to me. I am happy that I truly love healthy foods, but dislike that I don’t know which unhealthy foods I do enjoy.

I believe that when I first lost weight that it was the best for my body, it brought on so many positive changes in my life, but I sometimes wonder if it took away my love for enjoying foods.

The best way to truly recover is to face your fears, so I have reintroduced some former fears to see what the verdict would be. Go out and pick out that fear food and try it. Eat it, enjoy every bite. Don’t put negative connotations on the food you are eating. It will be scary, it may not feel enjoyable, and you will feel anxious, but this means you are taking the right steps.

You are stepping out of the comfort zone and challenging those negative beliefs. The more you challenge yourself, the easier it becomes. The voice will get smaller and easier to deal with each time. As woman, we are mostly told to light up dishes.

Start viewing food in a positive light. I used to think that there was too much fat in nut butters. Um, no. Of course there is fat in nuts, but it is good, healthy fats. Fat is good for the body. The fat from nut butter contains protein, and a whole bunch of vitamins and nutrients.

When I eat these foods I no longer think that they are making me fat. While chowing down on the peanut butter I’m thinking that these healthy fats will allow me to absorb those fat soluble vitamins, and help immensely in improving my skin, nails, and hair.

This change in mindset does not happen simply, it takes time, effort, and continuously repeating these actions until the anxiety has dispersed. I am still struggling with some fear foods, but I know what I need to change and what I need to do to get over these fears.

How have you overcome fear foods?
Do you still have any foods you avoid?

About Lisa

Comments

  1. I am still in fear of bread and pasta. I also fear nut butters, avocado, oils or anything high fat. I do eat those foods but I make it a point to measure and portion control them and if I don’t then I’ll feel guilty. One other strange fear is bananas try not to eat them very often.

    • I can definitely relate to those fears as well, I definitely will measure out servings if I am eating something uncomfortable.

  2. I can so relate to this. I made myself try all new foods over again in recovery because I worried I didn’t like it because my ED had told me for so long I didn’t. Now I try and concentrate on what makes me feel good, because really that is what matters. My body needs to be fueled properly and that includes adding in fear foods every day so they get that label taken off.

    • Very true, I think fear foods need to be consumed just to make sure that they are not actually feared and if I don’t like them, then its not really a big deal.

  3. I’m so glad that you are starting to overcome fear foods girlie!! I don’t know if I ever really had “fear foods” per se, but more like I was just afraid of too many calories in general. For me it was all about the calories. I’m glad I’m not always like that anymore!

    • It must definitely be very freeing! I am looking forward to challenging myself, but also nervous as well, even though I know nothing bad will happen when facing these foods. This disorder sure messes with your mind.

  4. I’m so proud of you! Conquering fear foods helps open so many doors of life up! The best thing is it also becomes easier to eat intuitively and take pleasure in food. You can do this! xoxo

  5. “The more you challenge yourself, the easier it becomes. The voice will get smaller and easier to deal with each time” <– LOVE that! So true!! :D
    I just loved your take on fear foods and how to conquer them! It can be so hard during recovery, but man does it feel amazing to come out successful :)

    • Thank you Alex!! It is definitely tough to deal with, I know I’ve had many breakdowns but know how much better my life will be once I overcome these

  6. I have gotten better over the years but still can’t get over mayo – i still will not eat it. My BF made a homemade tartar sauce (where usually he uses miracle whip) and he used mayo once without telling me and I had way too much. When I found out it was made with mayo I was seriously pissed at him! My other fear foods circle around dairy – butter, cream, half and half.

    • I definitely had the dairy issues too! I still sometimes avoid it, but I have found myself slowly getting more comfortable with cheese and yogurt, now to expand from this!

  7. sarah says:

    Fab post Lisa. I relate to a bunch of things you have mentioned, and you seem to have made a lot of revelations. I think its just great you are going to start facing some of your fears and kick ED in the be-hind!
    I really like your french fry analogy , Id def pick the roasted veggies too. But another Q to ask yourself is, if calories did not exist, would you still pick*insert healthy food here* over*insert unhealthy food here*, just something to think about.

    I HAVE to tell you I made your carrot cake granola yesterday- in LOVE:)! Sooo many shop bought and other granola recipes are full of rubbish- but this is so healthy and simple ,& most importantly delish. I used carrot/apple/parsnip puree, replaced the egg white with honey and added raisins(incase you wanted to know:p) and it turned out amazing and ill surely be making it again SOON.
    Now I’m going to try that cookie dough ball(Excited!).
    Xxx

    • That is very true, and really though provoking. I don’t even know which one I would choose since I know so much about calories now, but I can’t see myself saying no to a big bowl of fries. I’m so happy you made it and liked it! Yay! Oooh, I like the puree you used. I have an obsession with parsnips, they are delicious!!

  8. its kinda like an elmination diet, but in reverse. Add things in that you feared and give it time. Is it the food or thought that made you fearful. Start a journal! that might help!

    • Oh ya! I like that, a reverse elimination diet! Great idea on the journal too! I even have one stored in my room somewhere

  9. It gets easier and easier as the years go on but I still have some foods that I avoid: mostly scones, muffins (anything in that category) and candy bars

    • It’s definitely hard at first because I have so many fears, but know it gets easier as I challenge them. I haven’t had a real buttery, sugary baked good in far too long. Years I think.

  10. AHHHHHH beautiful post my dear! BEST one you have ever ever wrote! I can tell you are in a positive mind set today love ;) AHHHH so happy for you! I am literally jumping up and down with excitement :D Each time you have a doubt READ THIS POST! You are amazing, this post is AMAZING! Keep up the positive thinking!

    • Thank you Meg! You are the best! I am going to keep up the positive thinking and will definitely have this post to read back on if I’m feeling down or not motivated! I am determined to overcome this

  11. I think the reason I don’t fear food and eat anything I want is because I LOVE exercise and I know I can always eat a little more. Plus, I realized that skinny is not beautiful but muscles are. You need to eat to have nice and toned muscles!

  12. I think that you’re on the right track!! I can relate so well! My fear food was peanut butter/almond butter. Now I eat it with reckless abandon! ;)

    • I definitely get more comfortable each time I eat new things! I can’t imagine my life now without my daily nut butter! :) What was I thinking before?!

  13. I’ve never really had “fear foods” I just know which foods are definitely a every once in awhile kind of food. I am semi-lactose intolerant so I can’t have multiple servings of dairy in one day. Ever since I started eating clean I never really crave “bad” foods anymore- like anything greasy I don’t even want to eat anymore like pizza or fried foods. I enjoy everything I eat and just because I don’t eat some foods I don’t feel like I’m restricting myself at all!

    • That’s great that you don’t have any fear foods and know which foods make you feel good! It’s always great to know what your body wants and craves, I guess after such restriction I just don’t know for sure what I enjoy or not. It’s a weird thing!

  14. This post is very thought provoking for me. I usually eat very clean foods, but honestly I love everything I eat and don’t feel deprived. I don’t eat, say, chips or candy bars for a snack because I don’t want them. I would rather have something that will nourish my body and not make me feel like crap. On the other hand, if I actually did crave them, that would be a different story i suppose. I guess we all just have to listen to our own bodies and minds, which isn’t always easy! I think you are doing great though! :)

    • I feel that way too! But if someone asks if I want say, a cookie I get a little panicky and anxious. So I’m guessing that plays into a food anxiety. I guess the only way to find out is to challenge myself! I never crave any junk food anymore either. I know nothing bad will happen if I eat a darned cookie, and if I don’t like it then I can just move on and know that I don’t like eating cookies hah.

  15. Awesome post hun! It’s so great that you’re now able to eat foods that you used to be scared of. That’s amazing progress! :)

    I totally agree with what you said about repeated exposure – that’s how I got over my fear foods too! Pizza used to be a huge fear food of mine, so I ate it a bunch of times while I was recovering, and now it’s one of my favourite foods again!

    • Exposure is definitely the way! I remember during my worst not being able to enjoy oats, or oatbran, nut butters, yogurt, goodness I was nuts ;) I can’t imagine my life without those foods now!

  16. AMAZING! You are so DOING IT, girl!!! you’re living the recovery ride. :-) SO PROUD OF YOU!!! It took me awhile to no longer fear foods that I loved (nut butter, nuts, coconut oil, coconut ice cream, etc) but once I tried them and realized how much better I felt and focused on their ability to improve my daily life (and eventual health down the road), I was so much happier. I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. You are amazing!

    • Thanks so much Heather! I appreciate the encouragement! It’s definitely amazing how much better I started feeling once I added in some things. I thought I was on top of the world when I was sick, but in reality I was delusional. I can’t imagine going out without my daily oats and nut butters!

  17. Lovely post, and one I can definitely relate to! Bread and pasta are two of my fear foods. I guess it’s not really surprising what with the low carb/wheat is bad/paleo messages floating around. My sister has helped me with this (she’s a nutritionist) by telling me what I really already knew – there is nothing wrong with wheat if you are not celiac (sp) or have an intolerance!

    This week I have had pasta (and for dinner, even) twice, plus a couple of sandwiches throughout the week. To be honest, I still had that voice saying “what are you DOING? ” but was able to shush it :-)

    • Totally, its hard to not get sucked into those messages that people throw out. Great job with being able to confront that voice and beat it! That’s the only way we can truly get past our fear foods.

  18. You should be so proud of yourself because you’re doing great at overcoming these fears! I remember when I used to stare at nutrition labels, but now I focus on eating unprocessed foods without labels (for the most part, of course I still love some peanut butter despite its high calories and fat- like you said, HEALTHY fat) and it’s so freeing!

    • Thanks Brittany! I definitely feel happier that I’m challenging these fears, maybe not at the time but after I feel much better that I challenged my fears! It definitely is freeing!

Trackbacks

  1. [...] oat bran with egg whites, hemp seeds, chia applesauce, cinnamon, blueberries, and peanut flour ball to top it [...]

  2. [...] with peanut flour paste made with 2 tablespoons peanut flour, 1 teaspoon coconut oil, and about 1.5 tablespoons almond [...]

  3. [...] overnight cereal, with pumpkin, banana, egg whites, protein powder, and chia seeds. Topped with peanut flour paste. [...]

  4. [...] all up before hand and left it in the fridge to thicken up a bit. Underneath I hid the peanut flour frosting, so I had some enjoyable bites at the end, instead of the usual eating all around the toppings and [...]

Speak Your Mind

*