Today is one of those days where I have lots of thoughts on my mind. I’m also feeling very positive about things, which is clearly a great feeling! I love starting my day on a positive note.
Recently, I have been thinking lots about my food fears and how to change how I feel about them and also how to overcome some of those fears.
I’ve been trying to rediscover my love for certain foods. During my eating disorder I avoided a lot of foods. I lived in fear of certain foods because of the ingredients, or the way they were processed, or from even reading certain articles that distorted my love for certain food items.
I have been living thinking that my fear foods are really just preferences. I have reasons why I don’t like these foods or why I can’t eat them. You know, my belief that I am lactose intolerant, or things of that nature. Yah, that’s not true. In all honesty, I feared these foods so much that I created these allergies/intolerances, instead of just admitting I was afraid of their calorie or fat content.
However, my eating disorder did change my tastes, it changed the way I ate and continue to eat.I no longer crave and want to eat food that I used to eat on a daily basis. The eating disorder has definitely altered my taste buds.
This makes it difficult when I’m deciding if I’m avoiding foods because I personally dislike them or because they are a fear food. It’s hard to determine what I actually like after I have made it clear in my head that I don’t like certain foods. I know I’d rather eat a huge bowl of roasted veggies then a tiny bowl of french fries for the same amount of calories. That’s just my preference.
Some foods I truly don’t have any desire in trying to eat again and don’t see the point in eating them, but is this a wrong decision in recovery? It is very confusing to me. I am happy that I truly love healthy foods, but dislike that I don’t know which unhealthy foods I do enjoy.
I believe that when I first lost weight that it was the best for my body, it brought on so many positive changes in my life, but I sometimes wonder if it took away my love for enjoying foods.
The best way to truly recover is to face your fears, so I have reintroduced some former fears to see what the verdict would be. Go out and pick out that fear food and try it. Eat it, enjoy every bite. Don’t put negative connotations on the food you are eating. It will be scary, it may not feel enjoyable, and you will feel anxious, but this means you are taking the right steps.
You are stepping out of the comfort zone and challenging those negative beliefs. The more you challenge yourself, the easier it becomes. The voice will get smaller and easier to deal with each time. As woman, we are mostly told to light up dishes.
Start viewing food in a positive light. I used to think that there was too much fat in nut butters. Um, no. Of course there is fat in nuts, but it is good, healthy fats. Fat is good for the body. The fat from nut butter contains protein, and a whole bunch of vitamins and nutrients.
When I eat these foods I no longer think that they are making me fat. While chowing down on the peanut butter I’m thinking that these healthy fats will allow me to absorb those fat soluble vitamins, and help immensely in improving my skin, nails, and hair.
This change in mindset does not happen simply, it takes time, effort, and continuously repeating these actions until the anxiety has dispersed. I am still struggling with some fear foods, but I know what I need to change and what I need to do to get over these fears.
How have you overcome fear foods?
Do you still have any foods you avoid?